A couple of years ago, someone close to me went through a series of life altering events: her oldest daughter had gotten married and was expecting a baby, her new son-in-law was getting ready to ship off to Iraq, her son was moving out of the house, her dog which she'd had for over 10 years was getting older and having many life-threatening health problems. She had a lot on her plate. Suddenly, she found herself unable to sleep, unable to sit still, unable to focus at work. In addition to a mild anti-anxiety prescription, her doctor recommeded that she try yoga to help her deal with all the new stress in her life. She and I worked together and found that what helped her the most was the deep, controlled mindful breathing.
This is the time of year when there are many changes in our lives. School is starting, some people send their children away to college for the first time, many parents enter the "empty nester" phase of their lives, vacation season is over, and work picks up. Weekends, spent at the pool or on vacation for the last several months, are now filled with sporting events and other "extracurricular" activities. The days start to grow shorter, the leaves change color, the evenings cool off. As a nation we're also on the verge of making decisions as to the leadership of our country.
Our yoga practice teaches us that all things have a begnning, a middle and an end. We enter a pose, we abide in the pose for a period of time, and then we exit the pose. In vinyasa yoga we link these moments together with our breath. We enter our asana practice with a full, energizing, pranic inhale. We may stay in this pose for a single breath, or for several breaths, but ultimately we know we must leave the pose. We do so with a slow, controlled, mindful exhale, allowing the shape of the pose to fall away, or morph into an entirely new shape. When we become adept at this practice, our bodies and our breath form a dance of our spirit. Our mind begins to focus and all of the chatter begins to quiet and silence. Through this practice of entering, abiding and leaving, we learn to deal with other transitions in our lives, staying connected and grounded through this process of mindful awareness to our breathing.
I recently made the choice to let go of a class that I had been teaching almost since I began teaching. A new opportunity presented itself which I found to be very exciting and will help me continue to grow as a teacher. It was a difficult decision to make. I have seen the regular students in the class blossom into beautiful practitioners. Attendance had recently jumped. My ego rebelled against the idea of moving on, but after some reflection and meditation I realized that it was time. I will benefit from the new challenge, and they will benefit from a fresh perspective. We all just need to stay connected to our breath throughout the process.
To my Saturday Morning Source Yoga students, you have inspired me, and taught me so much. I am a better teacher, and person, because of all of you. Namaste.
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Another of my teachers, who teaches Anusara yoga always tell us that the first principle in Anusara is to soften in a pose. You are supposed to do this before you adjust your alignment or try to draw energy up through the pose.
For me, this principle is the key to moving gracefully through those life transitions you are talking about. Breathing is part of it, but a very deliberate surrender of something deeper than my breath is required too.
It has taken me a long time and a lot of pain to learn this lesson. I had two major moves in six years. For several years after the first one, I lived in black cloud. I felt like everything I cared about, everything that made me who I am, had been ripped away from me in one fell swoop; and I so stubbornly resisted everything about my new circumstances it broke me, body, mind and spirit. When I hit bottom and had no other option, I surrendered; and much to my surprise, out of the ashes a new life (and a new me) started to form that was better, richer and deeper than it ever had been before.
When the circumstances arose that made it time to move again, I really wasn’t ready to move on. But I had learned that sometimes, you don’t get the luxury of “being ready.” Someone dies unexpectedly. A job is lost. A child moves away. Sometimes we don’t get to choose when these things happen. I knew that, ready or not, my time in Pennsylvania was over. This time I was able to let go a little more easily (just a little), and be a little more open to whatever lay ahead.
I learned that the thing that causes most of the pain in my life is attachment. Attachment to things that I am not meant to be attached to. As human beings, we attach to people, possessions, jobs, places, habits, ideals, emotions and the labels that we place on ourselves in the attempt to create an identity. But none of these things are permanent. When we place the roots of our security in things that change, we can never really be secure.
Through my yoga practice, I have found something deep within me that does not change. No matter where I go, no matter who comes in or out of my life, no matter what I am doing, no matter whether I succeed or fail, it’s always there. When I root my security in that, I am not so easily shaken, I can be open to whatever life is serving up that day and I can find peace even in the midst of the most tumultuous situations. I have learned that it’s ok to let go of the things that make me happy in any given moment. They are not my happiness, only how I am living it at that moment in time.
I haven’t completely mastered this discipline yet. When you announced that you were giving up our class, a knot immediately formed in my stomach, but my mind responded with, “Hey! I know you! You’re attachment. Didn’t I kick you out in Pennsylvania?”
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