On Saturday, September 28 I will be teaching possibly the most important class I've taught in my brief teaching career.
My friend, Pamela Broyles, is trying to raise $20,000 to take part in the Off The Mat, Into The World Seva Challenge. This year, Seane Corn and Suzanne Sterling are partnering with the Cambodian Children's Fund to conduct a yoga-based leadership training course in one of the poorest regions of the world - the garbage dumps of Cambodia where small children fend for their families by picking through the trash. During the trip, Pamela will be working directly with the children at one of the five CCF orphanages, and helping to erect a water well in a local village.
The $20,000 fund-raising goal is a requirement to demonstrate that the participants have the qualities of leadership that allow them to rally support and achieve significant goals. While a portion of the money will go to fund Pamela's trip, 90% of the remaining proceeds will be given to CCF to help support their efforts in caring and educating the children and their families. Off the Mat, Into the World® will retain the final 10% of the proceeds. This money will be used to support their charitable programs, which include paying a select number of yoga teachers in the United States willing to commit to volunteering to teach yoga to children in the inner-city educational system, juvenile detention centers, shelters, etc., once a week for one year.
To help Pamela achieve her goal, I will be teaching a 2 1/2 hour heart-opening, service-themed yoga class on Sunday, September 28 beginning at 10 a.m. at Invoke Yoga & Pilates. Suggested donation is $25. My goal is to raise $1,000, every penny of which will go to Pamela. That's only 40 people at the suggested donation level. Please help me spread the word to other yogis in our community, and to other studio owners. I'm happy to send flyers to help promote this event.
Other donations can be made online or in the mail:
Online:
1. Simply click the following link and instructions on the page:
https://secure.groundspring.org/dn/index.php?aid=24100
2. Be sure to choose 'Seva Challenge' from the drop down menu, and select ‘Pamela Broyles’ from the list of names.
3. All online donations are SECURED by GroundSpring.org.
By Mail:
1. To make a donation via check, please send to:
Off the Mat, Into the World®P.O. Box 748Venice, CA 90294
*Make checks payable to The Engage Network, and write Pamela Broyles on the MEMO line.
*All donations will go to The Engage Network, a 501c3 tax exempt organization.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
Present Tense
Sometimes we don't know how much we've grown until we find the right yardstick.
Last week I went to my 30th high school reunion (which seems impossible, but there it is). I was a bit nervous about going; high school was not my best time. I was a shy, scrawny, awkward kid. I didn't really fit in with any particular group, though I usually hung out with the "smart" kids. I figured I had a better chance of acceptance there than with the "jocks." It would be another couple of years before I discovered booze and drugs, so the "stoners" scared me. I was very sensitive to everyone else's opinion of me, and spent far too much time trying to be someone I wasn't...usually unsuccessfully. Also, I've never stayed in touch with anyone from high school, so I wasn't even sure if I would know anyone, or if anyone would remember me. Still, I had a desire to go. I think part of it was because the idea made me uncomfortable, I figured I had to go. I got this from my yoga practice...when I encounter a pose that I don't like or that is difficult for me I work on it a lot, trying to "make friends" with it. As my college professor used to say, "Anything we resist, persists."
So, the night of the reunion I'm getting butterflies. As someone once told me, though, the trick isn't to get rid of the butterflies, it's to make them fly in formation. So, I shower, shave, put on some nice clothes and my wife and I head over to the event. While standing at the registration table, a woman approaches me and introduces herself. She sees my name tag, and says "Oh, are you M's brother?" (I have a step-sister who was in the same class as me) "Yes! Yes I am, are you a friend of hers?" "Yes, we were friends in junior high. My name's J. " She then looked at me closer, and said, "My gosh you've changed...you used to be UGLY!"
For a moment, maybe a split-second, I was once again a shy, scrawny, awkward kid. I was ready to bolt, but then I took a breath, smiled, and came back to reality. The truth is, I'm not that person anymore. The woman was right, I have changed. Physically, yes, but more to the point I'm much more comfortable in my own skin. In the 30 years since high school, I've gone to college, started a theater company, moved to New York, had multiple jobs, had a son, fallen in and out of love (several times!), married a wonderful woman, built a house, travelled, had a granddaughter, started a fairly successful yoga business...I've had 30 years of experiences that have led me to this place where I am now. None of us are the same as we were 30 years ago. Most of us aren't the same as we were 5 years ago. Or even 1 year ago. "Well, it's been a while. We've all changed a bit," I replied (...I think...at least that's what I hope I said...I was still a little rocked by "You used to be UGLY!")
The beauty of our yoga practice is that it reminds us that the most important moment in our lives is right-here-right-now-present-tense. What happened in the past may have shaped who we are, but it's not who we are. The Downward Dog that we did yesterday has no bearing on the Downward Dog we do today. The Warrior pose we did at the beginning of today's practice might have loosened up our hips and legs a bit, but it's not the same Warrior pose we did half-way through our practice. We may have learned from the meditation we did last week, but today our minds are grasping onto an entirely different set of circumstances and chatter. As long as we can feel our feet, our seat, our hands or our head touching the ground, we have a sense of where we are, and as long as we're willing to have the courage to deal with what comes out of that, we develop a sense of who we are.
Later in the evening I spotted a guy across the room who used to terrorize me when I was in elementary school. Every day he'd sit behind me on the bus and whisper in my ear that he was gonna kill me, or kick my ass, or some such thing. Even though he never touched me, I was scared to death of him. Now, seeing him as an approaching-middle-aged, tired-looking man, he didn't seem so scary. Still, I knew that I had to talk to him. Simply because the thought of talking to him made me uncomfortable. So, I approached and introduced myself. A big smile crossed his face, and he greeted me with a warm handshake. We had a very pleasant conversation, and remarked on how nice it was to see everyone again. That was it...no big confrontation, no sobbing apology, just two adults who no longer bore any resemblance to the 10-year-old children on the bus. I realized that if I had changed in all those years, so had he.
Last week I went to my 30th high school reunion (which seems impossible, but there it is). I was a bit nervous about going; high school was not my best time. I was a shy, scrawny, awkward kid. I didn't really fit in with any particular group, though I usually hung out with the "smart" kids. I figured I had a better chance of acceptance there than with the "jocks." It would be another couple of years before I discovered booze and drugs, so the "stoners" scared me. I was very sensitive to everyone else's opinion of me, and spent far too much time trying to be someone I wasn't...usually unsuccessfully. Also, I've never stayed in touch with anyone from high school, so I wasn't even sure if I would know anyone, or if anyone would remember me. Still, I had a desire to go. I think part of it was because the idea made me uncomfortable, I figured I had to go. I got this from my yoga practice...when I encounter a pose that I don't like or that is difficult for me I work on it a lot, trying to "make friends" with it. As my college professor used to say, "Anything we resist, persists."
So, the night of the reunion I'm getting butterflies. As someone once told me, though, the trick isn't to get rid of the butterflies, it's to make them fly in formation. So, I shower, shave, put on some nice clothes and my wife and I head over to the event. While standing at the registration table, a woman approaches me and introduces herself. She sees my name tag, and says "Oh, are you M's brother?" (I have a step-sister who was in the same class as me) "Yes! Yes I am, are you a friend of hers?" "Yes, we were friends in junior high. My name's J. " She then looked at me closer, and said, "My gosh you've changed...you used to be UGLY!"
For a moment, maybe a split-second, I was once again a shy, scrawny, awkward kid. I was ready to bolt, but then I took a breath, smiled, and came back to reality. The truth is, I'm not that person anymore. The woman was right, I have changed. Physically, yes, but more to the point I'm much more comfortable in my own skin. In the 30 years since high school, I've gone to college, started a theater company, moved to New York, had multiple jobs, had a son, fallen in and out of love (several times!), married a wonderful woman, built a house, travelled, had a granddaughter, started a fairly successful yoga business...I've had 30 years of experiences that have led me to this place where I am now. None of us are the same as we were 30 years ago. Most of us aren't the same as we were 5 years ago. Or even 1 year ago. "Well, it's been a while. We've all changed a bit," I replied (...I think...at least that's what I hope I said...I was still a little rocked by "You used to be UGLY!")
The beauty of our yoga practice is that it reminds us that the most important moment in our lives is right-here-right-now-present-tense. What happened in the past may have shaped who we are, but it's not who we are. The Downward Dog that we did yesterday has no bearing on the Downward Dog we do today. The Warrior pose we did at the beginning of today's practice might have loosened up our hips and legs a bit, but it's not the same Warrior pose we did half-way through our practice. We may have learned from the meditation we did last week, but today our minds are grasping onto an entirely different set of circumstances and chatter. As long as we can feel our feet, our seat, our hands or our head touching the ground, we have a sense of where we are, and as long as we're willing to have the courage to deal with what comes out of that, we develop a sense of who we are.
Later in the evening I spotted a guy across the room who used to terrorize me when I was in elementary school. Every day he'd sit behind me on the bus and whisper in my ear that he was gonna kill me, or kick my ass, or some such thing. Even though he never touched me, I was scared to death of him. Now, seeing him as an approaching-middle-aged, tired-looking man, he didn't seem so scary. Still, I knew that I had to talk to him. Simply because the thought of talking to him made me uncomfortable. So, I approached and introduced myself. A big smile crossed his face, and he greeted me with a warm handshake. We had a very pleasant conversation, and remarked on how nice it was to see everyone again. That was it...no big confrontation, no sobbing apology, just two adults who no longer bore any resemblance to the 10-year-old children on the bus. I realized that if I had changed in all those years, so had he.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Clearing the Path
My wife and I are big fans of many of the “makeover” types of reality shows. You know the kind: ordinary people whose wardrobes/homes/children have gotten completely out of control are given the chance to work with experts to re-design, re-organize, and re-cover their lives. The one theme that continually comes up is that the mess (for lack of a better term) is NEVER about the mess. Inevitably it’s about holding on to objects or ideas that at one time may have provided a sense of solace, well-being or justice, but have quit serving their purpose and have become obstacles to moving forward. The objects or ideas themselves have become the source of the chaos, and in many instances aren’t even being well-cared for. In one telling example, a couple’s house was over-run with clutter. As the expert was helping the couple sort through the chaos, it was clear that the wife didn’t want to let go of many of the objects because they reminded her of her mother, who had passed away a few years before. They eventually got to a box of china, which had been shoved in a corner and piled over with other boxes and bags of stuff. Most of it was chipped or damaged due to the condition it was being kept in, but still the woman couldn’t let go of it because it had been her mother’s. Finally, in a stroke of insight and compassion (mixed with a dose of harsh reality) the expert asked “This plate is not your mother, and if it were, would you want her to be kept in this condition?” It was painful, but the woman got it. She took the box of china outside, and smashed it, piece by piece, letting go of years of grief and anger. When she was finished, she didn’t just seem different; she LOOKED different; younger, lighter and less burdened. After that moment of clarity, she was able to move forward and let go of even more stuff that was blocking her path. In the end, she did keep a few meaningful mementos of her mother, which she was able to display proudly and care for properly.
In our yoga practice, we use observation, meditation, pranayama and asana to help identify and clear away all of the old, outdated, un-useful thoughts and ideas that clutter up our minds and bodies. Some of these obstructions manifest as tension in the body, some as distracting thoughts, and some as fear, resentment, uncertainty, anger or self-loathing. Many of these obstructions have, or had, a purpose: tension is the result of stress, and is a part of the “fight or flight” response that can be useful in dangerous situations; our ability to generate and follow thoughts are helpful in both the creative process as well as in developing plans of action and strategies; fear and uncertainty can help prevent us from injuring ourselves or others; anger, resentment and self-loathing, while not “healthy” emotions themselves, may be reactions to obstacles, real or perceived, facing us when we try to set and accomplish goals. The problem is when these natural tendencies start to run amok and create barriers to our ability to move forward. These tendencies sometimes are so ingrained, however, that we view them as a part of who we are, and the thought of letting go of them is about as appealing as hacking off one of our legs.
Just over 10 years ago, I was a very serious smoker. My feet didn’t hit the floor in the morning until I had a lit cigarette in my mouth. Then another one right after my shower with my coffee. Another as I got dressed, and still another as I walked to the subway. You get the picture. I was hooked. Not just physically and psychologically, either – I was terrified of what would happen to me if I gave them up. Having quit before, I knew what to expect in terms of the physical withdrawal (some liken it to quitting heroin), but what really scared me was what I would do with all the time that I spent smoking. If you figure it takes an average of 15 minutes to smoke a cigarette, and I was smoking a pack of 20 cigarettes a day, I was spending about 5 hours a day smoking. Granted, most of that time I was doing other things, but that’s still a lot of time to fill. The day that I quit, I hadn’t planned on it. I woke up with an un-opened pack on my dresser, and decided that I would see what it would be like if I delayed opening it until I was done with my shower. It wasn’t too bad, so I decided to delay opening it till I was done with my coffee. Since I had the extra time, I got dressed as I had my coffee and then I had more extra time on my hands, so I decided to start my walk to the subway a bit earlier, still delaying opening the pack, which of course I brought with me. I kept doing this for 3 days, finally deciding that I was committed to the idea of not opening the pack. After 2 weeks, I gave the pack to a friend of mine and I haven’t had a cigarette since.
As I suspected, there was now a vacuum of time that needed to be filled. I started going to a lot of movies. Then I started reading more. I took up roller-blading, and started to attempt several things that I’d always wanted to do, but never could find the time for. It was this path that led me to my first yoga class.
In our asana practice, we begin to notice tension in our bodies, which is a blockage of energy (prana) and, as I mentioned earlier, is the result of stress. As we begin to identify tension, we begin to find ways of releasing it. Sometimes that requires strengthening other parts of our body, sometimes it’s just a matter of re-alignment of the bones and muscles. Once we’ve released the tension, there is a void that is created where the blockage used to be. Something needs to fill that void, so we either re-introduce tension, or we keep it open allowing fresh prana to rush in. If we allow the fresh prana in, our pose seems fresher, more vibrant, more alive. We’re able to breathe more fully, and maintain a sense of well-being. Usually what happens, though, is that the tension re-settles into another area. So, we start the process again, identifying, releasing, creating space and watching what happens. Like a game of “hide and seek” we continue working with the tension in our bodies in this fashion until we eventually uncover all of the hiding spots and can abide in stillness and serenity. By consciously releasing tension, our practice becomes almost effortless and our minds have the opportunity to settle.
We do the same thing in our meditation practice. Once we’re able to still the body, we sit back and observe our thoughts. At first we just notice the thoughts as they arise, without judgment, and gently re-direct our awareness to our breath. Once we’re able to cultivate this observational, non-judgmental, “witness” approach to our thoughts, we begin to notice patterns arising. Going back to the television show analogy, sometimes the participants will be asked to sort their belongings into 3 piles – things to keep, things to discard, and things to repair. It’s the same with our thoughts. Are they serving us? If so, we’ll keep them around. If they’re not serving us, we work to remove or ignore them. Then there are those that might have been useful at one time, but due to abuse or neglect have become obstacles. Those we begin to work on to change alter or mend. As we begin to work with our thoughts in this manner, like the tension in our bodies, the thoughts start to re-appear in other areas or in other forms. So, we continue the process, seeking out their dark hiding places and shining the light of our discrimination on them. As we expose them and learn to release them, we create the void for fresh, new, positive thoughts to dwell.
We can continue this process into our relationships, our work situation, our living situation, whatever is causing disharmony, stress or barriers to our happiness. We observe, we identify, we apply our discrimination and then we take action to free ourselves from the bondage that has been created. Where are we harboring resentment? Where have we acted selfishly? Where are we holding onto things out of habit or obligation? Where are we using the things or situations in our lives as excuses to hold onto the past and rob ourselves of the present? We look closely and objectively at our choices and our role in creating each situation, and then take action to either repair it or release it. Sometimes, energized by this process, we may be tempted to discard everything and start fresh. Because these situations often involve other people, we need to make sure that we don’t create more chaos as we attempt to rid ourselves of un-happy situations. For this reason, it is wise to proceed on this path with the assistance of someone who can act as a guide or sounding board. Someone who has our best interests at heart, but who can also be objective and honest, and who can help us explore the choices we are making.
As we practice this, we become lighter, more vibrant, more filled with energy, and we’ve created the space for new, fresh and positive things to enter our lives. From time to time, we all need to do a little housecleaning. Sometimes we clean out a drawer, sometimes we tackle the attic. Regardless of how big or small the task, clearing away the things that are unused, broken or unnecessary will create space for new, healthy and positive energy to come into our lives.
In our yoga practice, we use observation, meditation, pranayama and asana to help identify and clear away all of the old, outdated, un-useful thoughts and ideas that clutter up our minds and bodies. Some of these obstructions manifest as tension in the body, some as distracting thoughts, and some as fear, resentment, uncertainty, anger or self-loathing. Many of these obstructions have, or had, a purpose: tension is the result of stress, and is a part of the “fight or flight” response that can be useful in dangerous situations; our ability to generate and follow thoughts are helpful in both the creative process as well as in developing plans of action and strategies; fear and uncertainty can help prevent us from injuring ourselves or others; anger, resentment and self-loathing, while not “healthy” emotions themselves, may be reactions to obstacles, real or perceived, facing us when we try to set and accomplish goals. The problem is when these natural tendencies start to run amok and create barriers to our ability to move forward. These tendencies sometimes are so ingrained, however, that we view them as a part of who we are, and the thought of letting go of them is about as appealing as hacking off one of our legs.
Just over 10 years ago, I was a very serious smoker. My feet didn’t hit the floor in the morning until I had a lit cigarette in my mouth. Then another one right after my shower with my coffee. Another as I got dressed, and still another as I walked to the subway. You get the picture. I was hooked. Not just physically and psychologically, either – I was terrified of what would happen to me if I gave them up. Having quit before, I knew what to expect in terms of the physical withdrawal (some liken it to quitting heroin), but what really scared me was what I would do with all the time that I spent smoking. If you figure it takes an average of 15 minutes to smoke a cigarette, and I was smoking a pack of 20 cigarettes a day, I was spending about 5 hours a day smoking. Granted, most of that time I was doing other things, but that’s still a lot of time to fill. The day that I quit, I hadn’t planned on it. I woke up with an un-opened pack on my dresser, and decided that I would see what it would be like if I delayed opening it until I was done with my shower. It wasn’t too bad, so I decided to delay opening it till I was done with my coffee. Since I had the extra time, I got dressed as I had my coffee and then I had more extra time on my hands, so I decided to start my walk to the subway a bit earlier, still delaying opening the pack, which of course I brought with me. I kept doing this for 3 days, finally deciding that I was committed to the idea of not opening the pack. After 2 weeks, I gave the pack to a friend of mine and I haven’t had a cigarette since.
As I suspected, there was now a vacuum of time that needed to be filled. I started going to a lot of movies. Then I started reading more. I took up roller-blading, and started to attempt several things that I’d always wanted to do, but never could find the time for. It was this path that led me to my first yoga class.
In our asana practice, we begin to notice tension in our bodies, which is a blockage of energy (prana) and, as I mentioned earlier, is the result of stress. As we begin to identify tension, we begin to find ways of releasing it. Sometimes that requires strengthening other parts of our body, sometimes it’s just a matter of re-alignment of the bones and muscles. Once we’ve released the tension, there is a void that is created where the blockage used to be. Something needs to fill that void, so we either re-introduce tension, or we keep it open allowing fresh prana to rush in. If we allow the fresh prana in, our pose seems fresher, more vibrant, more alive. We’re able to breathe more fully, and maintain a sense of well-being. Usually what happens, though, is that the tension re-settles into another area. So, we start the process again, identifying, releasing, creating space and watching what happens. Like a game of “hide and seek” we continue working with the tension in our bodies in this fashion until we eventually uncover all of the hiding spots and can abide in stillness and serenity. By consciously releasing tension, our practice becomes almost effortless and our minds have the opportunity to settle.
We do the same thing in our meditation practice. Once we’re able to still the body, we sit back and observe our thoughts. At first we just notice the thoughts as they arise, without judgment, and gently re-direct our awareness to our breath. Once we’re able to cultivate this observational, non-judgmental, “witness” approach to our thoughts, we begin to notice patterns arising. Going back to the television show analogy, sometimes the participants will be asked to sort their belongings into 3 piles – things to keep, things to discard, and things to repair. It’s the same with our thoughts. Are they serving us? If so, we’ll keep them around. If they’re not serving us, we work to remove or ignore them. Then there are those that might have been useful at one time, but due to abuse or neglect have become obstacles. Those we begin to work on to change alter or mend. As we begin to work with our thoughts in this manner, like the tension in our bodies, the thoughts start to re-appear in other areas or in other forms. So, we continue the process, seeking out their dark hiding places and shining the light of our discrimination on them. As we expose them and learn to release them, we create the void for fresh, new, positive thoughts to dwell.
We can continue this process into our relationships, our work situation, our living situation, whatever is causing disharmony, stress or barriers to our happiness. We observe, we identify, we apply our discrimination and then we take action to free ourselves from the bondage that has been created. Where are we harboring resentment? Where have we acted selfishly? Where are we holding onto things out of habit or obligation? Where are we using the things or situations in our lives as excuses to hold onto the past and rob ourselves of the present? We look closely and objectively at our choices and our role in creating each situation, and then take action to either repair it or release it. Sometimes, energized by this process, we may be tempted to discard everything and start fresh. Because these situations often involve other people, we need to make sure that we don’t create more chaos as we attempt to rid ourselves of un-happy situations. For this reason, it is wise to proceed on this path with the assistance of someone who can act as a guide or sounding board. Someone who has our best interests at heart, but who can also be objective and honest, and who can help us explore the choices we are making.
As we practice this, we become lighter, more vibrant, more filled with energy, and we’ve created the space for new, fresh and positive things to enter our lives. From time to time, we all need to do a little housecleaning. Sometimes we clean out a drawer, sometimes we tackle the attic. Regardless of how big or small the task, clearing away the things that are unused, broken or unnecessary will create space for new, healthy and positive energy to come into our lives.
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