Conscious Warrior Yoga

One Candle

2009-12-03T10:17:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago my wife and I attended a fund raiser for the Hamilton Co. Humane Society. The HSHC is unique in that they don't euthanize animals except in extraordinary circumstances, and they will keep animals as long as it takes to find them a home. During the fundraiser they showed a slide show of several of the "difficult case" adoptions that had happened over the past year: abuse cases, severe injuries, cases that would have condemned animals at many other shelters to an unhappy end. At the end of the slide show they brought out the featured animals with their new families. One of the dogs they featured was Nico, a Dogo Argentino which was discovered in a shelter in LA. He was in pretty bad shape, and would probably not make it out alive. A woman from a local rescue group took a photo of Nico (see above) which she posted on Facebook. The photo was seen by another woman who arranges animal rescue transports, who was able to raise the funds and manpower to transport Nico across the country to the HSHC. From there he began working with a local trainer who is fostering him and helping to socialize him. Nico is well on his way to finding his "forever home." (click here for Nico's full saga)

Gandhi said to "be the change you wish to see in the world." "One candle can light a thousand others" is a quote that has been attributed to the Buddha, but is also used in many other traditions in one form or another. Both of these ideas have at their core the notion that one person can be the catalyst to elicit change. They are calls to action, but they also require commitment, direction and intention.

On a physical level we cultivate this quality by giving our breath intention and direction through the use of pranayama, then the body receives intention and direction through our asana practice. When we practice Ujjai Pranayama (Victorious Breath) we direct the breath along the back of the throat and the soft palette to produce a breath that is both strong and controlled. When we hone our awareness to how our breath is behaving (too harsh? too labored? too lethargic?) we can then begin to adjust our energy levels by adjusting the power of our breath. So, our Ujjai Pranayama practice then becomes a thermostat that we can use to apply more energy when needed, or to calm ourselves when we begin to move into an aggressive state of mind in our practice.

In our asana practice we begin with a series of simple movements to begin to warm and lubricate the major muscles and joints. As we begin to refine the simple movements into more complex patterns and combinations we begin to create strength where there is dullness and opening where there is resistance. This is why we generally begin classes with some form of Surya Namaskar (Sun Salutation), rather than beginning with Urdhva Dhanurasana (Wheel Pose): our bodies need time to awaken, and need to be led mindfully toward the goal we wish to achieve. In that way we begin to coax forth our inherent strength and grace.

We all have qualites or traits that we'd like to cultivate or develop. We reflect on situations where we wish we'd have behaved differently. What our yoga practice provides us with is the opportunity to begin cultivating those qualites or traits, to begin to focus on changing our behavior. When we practice, we can bring these qualties or situations to mind, and let our attention to them provide the focal point for our practice. Can we practice in a way that is generous of spirit? Can we bring a quality of gratitude to our practice? Can we begin to change the way we treat others by first practicing treating ourselves in that manner? When we practice in this way, our intentions become ingrained in our psyche, and these intentions become part of our very make-up.Our intentions begin to provide direction for our lives, and our actions begin to reflect the qualities we practice in our minds. Our practice becomes habit, then becomes our state of being.

I am guilty of seeing problems or situations where I think "Someone should do something about that!" The thought may even cross my mind that I should be the person to do it, but then the situation looks too large for just me. In frustration I don't even begin. What I forget is that all I have to do is rely on my intention to act with grace and compassion. This provides me with the direction I need to take the action necessary. In so doing, I create the possibility for a chain reaction to occur so that the solution is presented. My part may have been small, but the result could be enormous or life changing.

There is a story of a man walking along the beach with his granddaughter. They come upon thousands of starfish washed up on the beach from a recent storm. The granddaughter starts running around picking up the starfish and throwing them back into the ocean. "Why even bother?" asks the grandfather. "There are so many, you''ll never save them all!" The granddughter throws another starfish into the ocean and says, "Well, I saved THAT one!"

Have a happy, healthy holiday season!

2009-11-05T12:47:00.000-08:00

I try to spend a little time every week reading through some of the books I have on yoga, or reading Yoga Journal, or even reading through material that may not be directly related to yoga, but is still inspirational. I thought this month I'd share a few of my favorite quotes and/or books.

"Yoga is not about self-improvement, it's about self-acceptance."
~Gurmukh Kaur Khalsa, The Eight Human Talents

A friend of mine bought me Gurmukh's book as a going away present from a job I held. She knew I had recently started practicing yoga, and, as she put it, "the cover looked funny." Little did she know that this was to become one of my favorite books on the subject. Gurmukh has a very down-to-earth way of explaining concepts that can be complex or esoteric. For me, this is the hallmark of a great teacher. Here's another gem, which speaks directly to what drew me to yoga practice in the first place:
"I have often said to the students that hat we do in class is the 'practice' of yoga; life is the real yoga. In class we are practicing techniques, metaphorical life lessons on a physical level that we can then apply to our larger lives in the world."

Picking up on that idea, here is a recent favorite from Sharon Gannon, who is the co-founder of Jivamukti Yoga Center with her husband, David Life:
“You cannot do yoga. Yoga is your natural state. What you can do are yoga exercises, which may reveal to you where you are resisting your natural state.”

This reminds me of the capacity we all have to get in our own way, whether it’s physically in class, emotionally in a relationship, spiritually in how we are in the world - the list goes on and on. Through the physical practice of yoga, if we are paying attention, we begin to discover where we encounter resistance, either in our bodies or our minds, and we begin to notice what our tendencies are once we encounter that resistance. Do we force our way through aggressively? Do we give up in frustration? Or do we seek a middle path where we continue to put forth the effort, but try not to get attached to the results?

Cyndi Lee, director of OM Yoga Center, along with the teachers at her school, have provided me with so much inspiration in my practice and my life. In Cyndi’s book, Yoga Body, Buddha Mind, she says,
“Waking up to every single breath, every single moment, is the challenge of this flowing form of yoga. To include every sensation whether it comes under the category of pleasant or not. To let go of categories. To let go of the fruits of your action. To literally go with the flow. This is the path to equanimity.”

Cyndi and her husband, David Nichtern, both practice Tibetan Buddhism, and they include many of the teachings of this practice into their particular “style” of yoga. It was in Cyndi’s class where I first heard this story:
“One day, a musician was playing a stringed instrument. He asked the Buddha, ‘How should I meditate?’
The Buddha said, ‘How do you tune your instrument?’
The musician said, ‘Not too tight, not too loose.’
The Buddha replied, ‘Exactly like that.’ “

I think of this often when I am practicing. If I am “tuning my instrument too tightly,” in other words, being too aggressive in my practice, I continue to encounter resistance, or I injure myself. On the other hand, if I am being too loose, I am practicing without discipline, without mindfulness, without intention. So, finding the middle path of the right amount of discipline and intention without the competitiveness and aggression is the one which will lead me to balance and peace of mind.

A word about the discipline of practice from Martha Graham, one of the premiere dance choreographers of our time:
“Practice means to perform, over and over again in the face of all obstacles, some act of vision, of faith, of desire. Practice is a means of inviting the perfection desired.” A good reminder that the path towards any goal begins with the enthusiasm and desire to continually move towards that goal. In yoga philosophy, this is called tapas.

In the Yoga Sutras, Patanjali says, “Practice becomes firmly grounded when well attended to for a long time, without break and in all earnestness.” Hmmm – maybe Ms. Graham also studied yoga?

Finally, an aphorism that is used in various forms by 12 Step Programs to The Dog Whisperer: “Bring the body, the mind will follow.” If we take the time to focus on the things we have control over: a healthy, toned, well-aligned body, awareness of our breath, mindfulness of our actions and reactions, then our minds will begin to reflect those same qualities.

This is only a small collection of some of my favorite quotes and books. Feel free to leave a comment with some of your favorite quotes or books which have helped you understand or be inspired by your own practice.

Pratyahara in Class

2009-10-14T10:28:00.000-07:00

I recently got a new cell phone with some cool new bells and whistles. I can now text, email, check Facebook, Tweet, surf the internet, and all sorts of new and exciting things that I used to have to lug my laptop around to do (which is kinda funny, anyway, given that just a few short years ago the idea of actually having a portable computer which could wirelessly connect to this invisible network of communication portals was the stuff of science fiction...now even those cool Star Trek communicators that I longed to have as a youngster seem pretty low-tech!). I admit, I was hooked! Now, even when I'm travelling from class to class, I can stay connected, though not while I'm actually driving. (Note to any of my friends who text or surf the internet while driving: STOP! Whatever it is, it can wait! If you must, pull over somewhere safe *stepping down from soapbox now*.) And it's a great time-killer if I'm waiting in line somewhere, or grabbing a bite for lunch, or even sitting in my car between classes. So, to all of you Crackberry/iPhone/Sidekick toting friends of mine, I GET IT! I am a convert. I have seen the other side of the mountain, and it is wondrous.

The one time when I have never felt the need to update my FB status, or tweet my location, or check my emails, or answer my phone is when I am involved in my yoga practice. That's my "disconnect from YOU and connect with ME" time. That's my time to recharge my batteries and clear my mind. My time to let go of all of the crap that builds up in my psyche all day, much of which is created by the constant pressure THAT I'VE CREATED to stay connected to friends and family, so that when I DO reconnect with y'all, I can do so in a centered, focused, relaxed way. I view my practice space, whether it's the area I use in my home, or my mat in a public classroom, as sacred. That is the space where all of the sweat and toxicity and stress and the deadlines and the fears and the attachments and the junk that crowds my mind is left. That is the alter of the sacrificial ego. That is the place where I receive sanctuary and sustenance and nurture and peace of mind. That is the place where I return to myself.

So, I am very disturbed by a recent trend I've noticed. People in classes keeping their portable communication devices next to their yoga mats, powered on, and turned so that the screen is visible to them while they are in Down Dog or Childs Pose or any other time when the attention and focus might be directed towards their breath or, God forbid, on the chatter and stories and all of the other stuff that is running rampant through their minds. I had one person in class recently who, while in Pigeon Prep pose, picked up her Blackberry and started texting someone. "Is there an emergency at home?" I quietly asked. "No, just making plans," she replied, as if this were the most normal thing in the world. And to her, it was.

I have asked people in class to set aside their mobile devices, and from the reactions I received you would have thought I was asking them to sacrifice one of their limbs. One person replied "But my daughter is sick at home!" At first I considered that this might constitute a situation where it might be appropriate to keep the phone handy (and on vibrate mode!), but the person kept checking the phone every time we rested, often time tapping out a quick text in the process.

I don't want to be unreasonable. I do have a doctor who comes to class when they are "on call." They informed me of this before they started taking my classes, and I told them that I didn't mind if they kept their pager (remember those?) handy, as long as they set their mat up close to the door. I've even had regular students of mine tell me that they need to keep their phones handy due to an emergency, a work situation, a family problem, etc. I get that. I get that sometimes in our busy lives our desire to get our yoga practice in requires sacrifice in other areas, or even accomodations. But one of the biggest benefits of our yoga practice is the inward journey that we take. The self-observation, being a witness to our minds and our breath, the recognition of our patterns and habits, the places where we hold ourselves back, or push ourselves too far, or commit any number of acts of aggression toward ourselves and those around us, the simple act of just being without any goals or agendas of attachments...all of these take the ability to focus and let go. Our Pratyahara practice asks that we withdraw our senses from the stimulation of the outside world. When we choose not to do this, we rob ourselves (and oftentimes others) of the opportunity to be still, and from that stillness emerge refreshed and reinvigorated, ready to deal with the outside world with clarity and awareness.

Technology is amazing, and has created amazing tools when they are utilized in appropriate ways. When our attachment to technology begins to take over every aspect of our lives, however, we begin to become enslaved by the very things which were created to free us.

9/11/ Rememberance

2009-09-11T05:02:00.000-07:00

Following is an excerpt from a letter I wrote to my son shortly after the terrible events of 9/11/01. My yoga practice certainly helped me maintain my sanity during that time.

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I think I described to you what I saw last week. Our office is located at 15th Street and 8th Avenue, just over a mile from what is now being called Ground Zero. We have panoramic views of the entire city, including the site where the World Trade Center stood. Almost every day I have looked at those towers, and have always taken for granted that I would always see them there. They were part of our landscape, our skyline, our vision of what could be accomplished by human imagination. To look down there right now and see nothing but smoke is terribly surreal.

I got up the morning of September 11, 2001, pissed off that my hot water was off, and would be off till Thursday. I had my coffee, took a very cold sponge bath and washed my hair…tried to shave, and went to a local school to vote in the Primary election. I was happy and sad to see that the line to vote was non-existent. Happy because I didn’t need to spend any unnecessary time there, sad because there was such pathetic turnout. After voting I walked to work, returned some emails, checked my schedule for the day, and was talking with some co-workers. When I first heard someone screaming last Tuesday, I thought that perhaps a rat had gotten into the building, or that perhaps someone had been injured. The last thing I expected to see was a gaping hole in the side of one of the Twin Towers. People stared in disbelief…some started crying or screaming, concerned for loved ones who worked there. We stood there trying to decide if it had been a bomb, or an accidental explosion, but none of us were prepared for the news that it had been a plane that had hit, especially on such a beautiful fall morning. When we heard that, we assumed that the pilot must have suffered an injury or heart attack, or that there had been a malfunction somehow. I ran to my desk on the opposite side of the building to call Mom and Dad, and to let them know that I was ok (I knew that you would be asleep, and not knowing the news that the next few minutes would bring, I figured I would call you later). I started looking for a TV or radio that worked so that I could get more news…I logged onto the Internet to get news there as well. Just as I was reading reports that a plane had indeed crashed into the building, I heard screams coming from the lobby area of our floor. I ran over and about 20 people were looking out the windows, several of them saying that a 2nd plane had hit the other Tower. Not just a plane, though, a jumbo jetliner. Reports of hijackings started coming over the news, and it became obvious that we – that is NY or the US – were under attack. I had to go back to my desk to contact our Employee Assistance Program, as well as a chiropractor who was supposed to come to our office that day to give free consultations to our employees. By then the phone lines were down, and the Internet connections were sketchy. That’s when the first real wave of fear hit me. I started watching the Empire State Building, guessing that if we were under a big attack, it would be the next target. About that time more screams came from the lobby of our office, and again I ran out, not knowing what to expect. I had to blink a few times to take in what I was seeing. The first Tower, the 2nd hit, had collapsed. The remaining Tower was obscured by smoke, but the antenna on top was visible. This was ludicrous to me…how was it possible that this building could have fallen? I started wondering if the building had fallen in on itself, or worse, if it had fallen over onto other buildings like a giant toppling onto it’s face. Reports also started coming in that the Pentagon had been hit, and that there were fires on Capitol Hill (thankfully not true). As I was surveying the damage that I could see, and trying to calm whomever I could around me, we received a call that our agency was closing, but if people felt safer, they were welcome to stay. By this time we knew that transportation was going to be tough…Grand Central was closed, Port Authority also, bridges and tunnels shut down. It became apparent to us that we were in a state of emergency. The building sent security up to evacuate us – we were not in any danger that we knew of, however we do sit above a major subway station, and the Port Authority (who originally owned the WTC, as well as patrols and maintains many of the transportation venues) maintains offices here. I walked down from the 14th Floor, and then the ½ block to my apartment (I am so fortunate to live so close to work…I have heard stories of people having to walk miles, cross bridges, etc. Some were not able to make it home for a couple of days. Some not at all.)

So I got home, turned on the news, tried to call several people, including you, and was unable to get through. Phone lines were out, cellular service was gone…after all, the WTC was a major hub of communications as well…the tower on top, from what I understand, contained antennae for cell phones as well as the media. A funny story I was told – a woman, shortly after the attack, was on her cell phone. She was in a heightened state of frustration and anger, and was screaming at a customer service rep for Sprint “I pay a lot of money every month and I can’t believe that I can’t get service, blah blah blah!” Finally someone approached her and pointed out that the problem was not with Sprint, but with the fact that the big antenna just got blown up. I could identify with the woman’s frustration. Ironic, after the symbolism of the attack, that our consciousness is that money can solve our problems. A point to ponder, I’m sure, but I’m trying to stay away from my own rhetoric. So, I’m on the phone trying desperately to get through to friends, relatives, anyone, and I see on my television screen the 2nd Tower fall. For the first time. I sat on my bed in shock for a moment, amazed at what had happened. Suddenly the fact that I didn’t have hot water for my shower seemed pretty trivial.

During the course of the day I saw the horror of the situation played out over and over. Each time I expected someone to come on and say that it had all been a joke. It didn’t even look real…not even as good as some of the special effects in Hollywood. I spoke to friends, family, and waited. I felt completely powerless. I waited some more, went to the store, bought some extra water, went back home and waited some more. Finally a friend of mine wanted to come over and spend some time together. We watched the news…I couldn’t seem to get away from it, nor was I able to turn it off. We decided to walk around for a bit, so we walked down 7th Avenue towards St. Vincent’s Hospital, and looked south towards the cloud of smoke that had been the World Trade Center just hours before. We walked a bit further south, and started to smell the burning building. A friend pointed out the next day that we were also smelling human beings burning in the rubble. I still can’t face that reality. We spent some time together, and I went home, only to watch the news and wait some more.

The next day I woke up and, like so many people, hoped that this was a bad dream. After turning on the television I realized that it wasn’t. I found myself looking out whenever I heard a fighter jet fly over, and getting nervous if a delivery van remained parked outside my apartment for more than a few minutes. Finally after a few hours of watching the coverage, I went outside to walk around. Barricades were set up across the width of Manhattan at 14th Street (1 block from my apartment) with armed guards checking ID of those that were trying to get to their homes. Military personnel were patrolling in camouflage HumVees. Fighter jets were flying overhead. There were several people on the street, but there was a definite feeling of tension. I walked over to Union Square Park, and there was a makeshift memorial sprouting up, with yards of brown paper on the ground where people could write whatever they were feeling. After a long time, I reached down and wrote the word “HEAL” in a corner of the paper. It was the only thing I could think of saying. I made my way home and went to a meeting that night. Honestly, that’s about all I remember of Wednesday.

The next few days got progressively easier, though one image remains burned in my memory. I was again walking around Union Square Park with a friend, and we saw some mothers pushing their children on the swing set – with surgical masks covering their faces.

I have been able to get together with friends, go out to dinner and movies, take yoga classes, get back to work, and begin the process of my own healing. I am fortunate in that I have a lot of support here, and that nobody I know personally was injured. Several friends are temporarily out of work because their offices were either in the World Trade Center, or nearby. Life is going on. With perspective. The thing that I am continually impressed with is how we have come together. The incredible heroism, rescue and relief efforts, volunteerism, support from friends around the world…it’s truly amazing, and I am very grateful for that. It’s sad in a way that it took something of this magnitude to bring us together in this way, but that’s the way it is right now. Without indulging too much in my own rhetoric or philosophy, I hope that we, as a World, can go forward with the same amount of love and compassion that we have seen over the last few days.
In closing, I would like to leave you with something that we say at the end of one of my yoga classes. It has been a source of solace for me in many ways. “May the entire Universe be filled with Peace and Joy, Love and Light, and may the Light of Truth overcome all Darkness. Victory to that Light.”

Instant Karma

2009-09-08T12:34:00.000-07:00

Mowing the lawn is one of those activities I have mixed reactions to. My schedule as a yoga teacher is generally flexible enough so that I usually don't have to use up any of my weekend time with my wife, but that means that often I am mowing the lawn during the hottest part of the day so that I can get it done between classes. It's drudge work, but I always have a sense of accomplishment when I'm finished. It's mindless, but it gives me the opportunity to observe my thoughts - oh, who am I kidding. I usually just daydream. Or re-live conversations I've had that day. Or think about what I'm going to have for dinner. Or any one of a thousand thousand ways I can distract myself.

So, last week I was mowing the lawn, and, strangely, was thinking about karma. Not that I DON'T think about karma or other philosophical issues now and then, but I also think about other stuff. Usually the other stuff takes residence when I'm mowing the lawn. Philospophical daydreaming is best suited for long walks with the dogs. Duh!

So, there I was mowing the lawn pondering how all of the random choices I've made in my life have led me to this point, how all of our actions affect other people and things, how really NOTHING is random (or maybe EVERYTHING is), how people manage to cross paths with each other at significant points in their lives, how people tend to attract people who are like them because they tend to make similar choices, how sometimes the results of our actions aren't known for a long time, maybe even another lifetime if you believe in that sort of thing and then as I was completely distracted by all of the thoughts whizzing about in my head I stepped in a loose patch of dirt, fell, skinned my knee and looked in horror at the lawn mower which was rolling down the hill towards me. Fortunately I caught it in time, straining a muscle in my back in my haste to not become mulch. "AHA!" I thought, "There's the lesson! Pay Attention!"

If you've ever spent time with small children, you know that you have to keep an eye on them all them time. They've not yet developed the skill of being aware of their surroundings. They don't have the experience to know that gravity has a funny way of kicking in right when they're tightrope walking along the back of the couch, that parking lots are oversized, slightly more civilized, demolition derbys, that the nice-smelling food on top of the stove is probably still hot enough to burn or scald. So we as adults supervise them. We protect them. Most of all, we try to teach them so that they live to give us another panic attack tomorrow.

Most kids, though, develop some awareness of the potential dangers of their world by the time they reach kindergarten. More develop an awareness of how to get praise or attention at an even earlier age. So, they start making choices about their actions. They begin to notice that if they share their toys with the other kids, the other kids will share with them. They notice that if they talk back to their parents, or are disrespectful to their teacher, they get punished. They understand that if they behave in a certain way, certain results can be expected.

As we grow older, patterns of behavior become more ingrained, turning into habits. A habit is a recurrent, often unconscious pattern of behavior that is acquired through frequent repetition.Habits aren't in and of themselves "bad." We also develop "good" habits like brushing our teeth, praising our children, wearing our seatbelts, etc. However we sometimes also let these patterns of behavior go un-examined simply because we don't notice them.

On our deck, there is a clear path where the finsih has been worn off by our dogs running down to our back yard. This path began the first time we opened the door to let the dogs out, but through repetition, the path has become more visible. Now, imagine all of your habitual thoughts and actions creating similar paths on your mind and body. It's suddenly clear where the term "in a rut" comes from. All of these impressions created by our habitual behavior, going all the way back to the first time we exhibited that behavior, are called "samskara" in Sanskrit.

So, how do these behaviors relate to karma? What do we mean by "karma." Many people see karma as direct cause and effect: if you do good, good things happen to you, if you do bad, bad things happen to you. While this is not entirely incorrect, it is sort of an Afterschool Special way of looking at it. What if all of the "good" and "bad" judgement were removed from the equation, and you were just left with thoughts and actions? Because all of these thoughts and actions create impressions, the more we repeat them, the more ingrained they become. So, if we are constantly acting in helpful, compassionate ways, we create those kinds of impressions, if we are contantly judgemental and selfish, those are the impressions we create.

Just as the path that my dogs have worn down in the deck leads to the back yard, the impressions we create by our thoughts and deeds lead us toward certain outcomes. Now, consider that very few of our thoughts or actions are completely linear; in other words, most thoughts and actions have an affect, direct or indirect, on many things rather than just a simple "I do A, and I get B as a result" scenario. Often this is represented by the analogy of a pebble being dropped in a lake sending out ripples in all directions, however I sometimes imagine it more like the old films I saw in elementary school demonstrating how an atomic bomb works. Imagine a table filled with mouse traps with a ping-pong ball perched on top of the spring of each trap. If you throw one ping-pong ball onto the table, it will start a reaction which causes all of the traps to eventually be set off. Now, imagine that the size of the table and the number of mouse-traps is infinite. You've probably experienced situations where you said or did something, and days, weeks, months, even years, later, an unexpected result of that action occurs.

So, how do we escape this endless cycle? How do we change our karma? The first step is by becoming aware. We recognize that we have had a part, consciously or unconsciously, in creating our present situation. At some point in our lives, a path of behavior began to appear which we reinforced by continuing to follow it. Now, again, habits are neither good nor bad, however our inability to recognize them can lead to outcomes which are desirable or undesirable. By becoming aware of the habit, we are led to the second step, discernment.

As we begin to examine each habit, we start to notice if the result of our actions is leading us toward, or away from, the type of existence we'd like for ourselves. Maybe we start to identify our actions as "skillful" or "unskillful." Once we begin to notice which habits or actions are skillful, in other words, those which lead us closer to our ideal existence, we reinfoce those habits by practicing them more often. When we determine that an action is unskillful, or one which leads us away from our ideal existence, we stop reinforcing them by finding ways to develop new patterns. Instead of reaching for a cigarette, carry gum or carrots. Instead of sitting at home lamenting lonliness, find a social activity which you enjoy like a hiking club or dance lessons.

The third step in this process is to be patient and compassionate with ourselves. Old habits are difficult to break, and, as we discussed before, many of our actions take a long time to catch up with us. If you find yourself getting discouraged by falling back into old patterns of behavior, or if something happens which is the result of a past unskillful habit, recognize that this is a process, and that as long as you continue to practice acting skillfully, eventually you will create new patterns and behaviors which will lead you to the type of life you've dreamed of. Just be sure to pay attention!

And the new Secretary of Yoga Sciences is...

2009-07-24T12:48:00.000-07:00

My friend Staci posted a link to this article on her Facebook page.

The focus of the article is a move by some states to go after yoga studios which offer teacher training programs in an effort to subject them to the same licensing rules which apply to other vocational schools. This has caused a push-back from the yoga community, and so far some states like New York, have backed off. Other states, like Michigan and Virginia, are still pursuing studios. Some studios have even been forced to close due to the amount of red tape and the high cost of licensing fees.

About 10 years ago, a group called the Yoga Alliance was formed as a voluntary registry for yoga schools who agreed to certain minimum levels of standards of training partly based on the ethical precepts of yoga philosophy, as a way to self-regulate and and avoid the very issue of government regulation and licensing. Currently, there are around 1,000 schools nationwide registered with the Yoga Alliance. Ironically, it was this very listing which prompted state officials to start investigating this arena.

Personally, I'm a bit on the fence on this one. My knee-jerk reaction is "NO REGULATION!" It seems to me that government could actually benefit from a little pranayama and some observance of the yamas and niyamas, besides with the wide variety of approaches to yoga practice ranging from the very physical forms of hatha yoga to practices which are more meditative and philosophical in nature, how would one go about coming up for a set of standards for everyone? They more than likely would have to rely on the standards set by the Yoga Alliance...so then why add this new layer of bureaucracy?

On the other hand, yoga has started to become very mainstream. I get asked several times a year about teacher training programs I would recommend. In the past year, I've seen three or four new studios open in Central Indiana (and those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head). I've taken classes with teachers, both here and outside of Indiana, whose training I question, and in some cases, who I thought were downright dangerous. And, as Sybil Killian (who is the general manager of OM Yoga Center in NY...yes, where I got my training...) pointed out in the article, “Make no mistake, ladies and gentlemen, yoga is an industry. One need only leaf through the advertising section of Yoga Journal to know that.” Even though most privately owned yoga studios barely make enough to keep their doors open, yoga as an industry is making huge money. We've been convinced that it's okay to spend $100 or more on a pair of yoga pants...that somehow the $75 sport top with the cute spaghetti straps will make your Downward-Facing Dog more dynamic. Maybe somebody does need to keep a closer eye on things…

But the real problem I found in the article was that some opponents of licensing and regulation cite “religious infringement” and that new rules might “contradict religious underpinnings.” HUH?!?!?

OK…so, I admit, this question comes up a lot. And, depending on who you talk to, you will get many and varied perspectives. I think my favorite answer comes from Doug Swenson who said in a workshop that while many treat yoga as a religion, the practice of yoga is not in and of itself a religious practice. Because of it’s origins, the practice borrows from Hinduism, Buddhism and Jainism, much like Alcoholics Anonymous borrowed it’s steps and concepts from many western religions. Yoga is a practice which helps us unify our bodies, minds and spirits. It’s precepts and ethical practices are spiritual in nature, however it’s practice is personal and self-exploratory. You do not have to believe in any particular deity, nor are you forced to follow any specific rules of diet or observance, though many practitioners do explore various belief systems and dietary restrictions which support their own personal ethics and choices. (Here is a link to a great article by Georg Feuerstein on this subject)

The problem that I see with defending yoga from regulation by calling it a religion is that it becomes exclusionary. Now, in order to become licensed, will I have to prescribe to a set of beliefs which I don’t hold? Will I be obligated to follow certain dietary restrictions and observances which don’t have relevance to my life? In the Midwest, we’re still struggling against fears and prejudices held by those who practice western religions such as Catholicism, Christianity and Judaism. I have been told on more than a few occasions that someone can’t try a yoga class because it’s against their religion. The ironic thing is that many people find that their yoga practice supports and enhances their religious practice. Declaring yoga a religion simply to avoid regulation will further enlarge that schism, and many who might benefit from the physical, mental and spiritual benefits of yoga practice may turn away in fear or ignorance.

It seems that it may only be a matter of time before government regulation and licensing become a reality. As with most things, there will be unexpected consequences both positive and negative. The important thing, for me, is to keep the practice of yoga inclusive. There is room for everyone, from Christian to Hindu; from Ashtangi to Raja Yogi.

2009-07-08T12:04:00.001-07:00

It's the end of the big holiday weekend: the late-evening firecrackers and bottle rockets have nearly disappeared from our neighborhood, we have a refrigerator full of left-overs from the annual family cookout, and thoughts of independence and freedom are still running through our minds.

Freedom means different things to different people. For Americans, it is the guiding principle on which our Nation was founded, and the concept that our brave service men and women strive to protect. For some of the early settlers it meant being able to worship in whatever fashion they wanted. For the founders of our Nation, it meant the ability to govern ourselves instead of answering to a King on the other side of the ocean. For teenagers it may be the ability to make their own decisions, for entrepreneurs it is the opportunity to create financial independence doing something they love. Regardless of race, heritage, gender or politics, however, most of us are seeking freedom from suffering.

There are forms of suffering which are imposed upon us, and about which we can do very little: political or religious persecution, health problems, poverty, hunger, etc. There are other forms of suffering which are endured for a short time for a greater good. Then there are forms of suffering which we choose, either consciously or unconsciously. These are the forms of suffering which we have the power to change and free ourselves from.

At the time I discovered yoga, I was also heavily involved in a 12-Step program. The 12-Step work laid a foundation where I was able to take responsibility for my life and outlined a course of action to follow. Through this work I was able to come to grips with the true nature of the problems which had been plaguing me though much of my adult life. I discovered that the source of many of those problems was a self-centered attitude which colored the way I viewed events. I couldn't get out of my own way, and had become, in my mind, a victim of the circumstances of my life.

When I went to my first yoga class, I saw very clearly how the underlying philosophy supported my 12-Step work. Not only did the physical activity improve my attitude and inspire me to become more healthy, but the encouragement to observe myself and witness the feelings and sensations that arose provided insights on how I reacted when I was challenged (I should just give up!), when I was adjusted (why are they always criticizing me?), when I was asked to quiet my mind (Oh great, now I can't NOT think!), when I was told to do all of this without judgement (Huh?).

Yoga also provided some very practical observances and practices which would provide valuable tools to assist me. Practice being non-harming. Practice being truthful. Practice being content with the things I have. Practice observing myself.

Between the 12-Step work and the yoga practice, I slowly began to shed the actions and the attitudes which had mired me in the morass of self-pity and self-centeredness. The suffering I had accepted for years slipped away, and a new life of freedom began. I was finally able to move forward with my life and become happy and productive.

From time to time something will happen which will nudge me back towards my old ways. I feel overwhelmed and begin to withdraw. When this happens, I am generally quick to recognize the symptoms and embrace my practices more closely (Practice, not perfection!). I am able to formulate a plan of action, and more importantly, I am able to not attach to the results of those actions. This allows me to continue to move forward, rather than allow myself to become stuck in the skipping phonograph of the past. This, for me, is true freedom from suffering.

A two-fer

2009-06-12T12:34:00.000-07:00

Two posts in one day...amazing! Except, the first post, Meditations on a Table-Saw, was actually a reprint of an article I wrote for my newsletter a few weeks ago. If you'd like to sign up for my newsletter, go to www.consciouswarrior.com and click on the link.

I decided to post again, because over the last few weeks I've had some surprises...some good, some not so good. It's really easy to practice serenity and equanimity when things are going well, but it's a bit more difficult when things aren't. That's when I have to remember that it's only practice.

I'll start off with the not-so-good news...a few weeks ago I was informed by my biggest corporate client that they were no longer going to be subsidizing the classes. I could still teach there, but I'd have to rely only on what the employees were paying for the class. This really wasn't a big surprise...I was aware that there had been lots of staff layoffs and downsizing. I knew it was just a matter of time. Still, these things always happen at the worst possible moment. This was right at the time that a couple of other corporate classes were going on hiatus for the summer, and I had also just made the decision to let go of a couple of classes which were struggling in order to clear my schedule completely for a day. Oh, and my wife and I had also planned a couple of vacations right around the same time. Any one of these would have made a financial impact, but all of them together have created a gaping hole in my financial health. So, I'm in the market for either a couple of well-paying corporate gigs (I have a finders-fee offer for anyone who assists me in this), or for a part-time job. It's the first time in three years that I've had to actually try to find other work to supplement my yoga business, so I know that I've been very fortunate. I'm staying close to my practice and am just trying to take whatever the next right action seems to be, and practicing letting go of my expectations.

On the positive side, I've had some really exceptional feedback from students recently. Last week a woman appeared in my class who was in town from NY...turns out she studies and teaches at OM Yoga Center (the studio I studies at, and from where I received my certification). I was a bit nervous when I found this out, but she had glowing things to say to me afterwards. It always feels great to get good feedback, but it's particularly gratifying when it's from someone with similar background and experience.

I had another woman come to class on Wednsday night from Iowa...she left this on Yelp.com! I was thrilled!

Julie and I had great trips to Denver and to New York. I took a couple of excellent classes in NY...one in Mt. Kisco which was totally unexpected. Overall, despite minor setbacks, everything is fine.

Namaste!

Meditation on a Table Saw

2009-06-12T12:31:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I decided that I would take up woodworking as a hobby. This decision was not arbitrary; I wanted to convert my home office into a home yoga studio and needed to replace the large furniture that was in the room with something smaller and more portable. After looking around for a while I couldn't find any furniture that I liked or that was within my budget. There were a few other projects that needed to be done, so I decided to buy some tools and start to work.

My first project was actually a small table for my wife's office. Although it turned out okay, it was a definite learning experience. With this new knowledge, I decided that I needed a couple of "learning projects" before I started building the furniture pieces for my studio/office, so I started to work on some shelving units for the garage. After several hours of work, I ended up with a lot of scrap wood. The shelves didn't quite go together the way I had hoped. I was disappointed, but not disheartened. Taking the lessons from that attempt, I started anew.

What I have found is that I actually look forward to spending time with the wood and the tools. There is something about the conception of the project, the ritual of laying out the tools, the measuring and re-measuring, the satisfaction of cutting a piece of lumber that actually fits where it is supposed to that keeps my mind active and absorbed, and stimulates the part of my brain that enjoys figuring things out. Even when I'm having a bad day, if I spend even a little time in my garage shop I feel renewed, refreshed and alert.

I hear other people talking about similar experiences with gardening or painting or cooking or knitting. No matter what it is that is going on in their lives, there is a small corner that is theirs and theirs alone, where they can take a mental break from the stress of work or family or commitments and turn their focus onto something that not only holds their attention, but also gives them peace of mind. After even a short time involved in these pursuits, the person becomes clear-headed, even-tempered and with a renewed perspective on those things that had previously been troubling to them.

The final four limbs of Patanjali's Ashtanga Yoga talk about the process of liberating ourselves from the restraints that our minds sometimes put us in. Pratyahara (withdrawl of sensory stimulation), dharana (concentration), dhyana (connection) and samadhi (absorption) are all results of the actions that we take in the other limbs. In his book, The Heart of Yoga, T.K.V. Desikachar says that these cannot be practiced, but instead occur spontaneously when we create the proper situation for them to occur. Through preparation, we begin the process of concentration, then we form a connection with the object on which we are concentrating, then finally we become "one" with the object of our concentration. The rest of the world, distractions and stress, seem to fall away.

Developing a hobby has been shown to reduce stress and improve health, Interestingly, some of the most popular hobbies, such as gardening, needlework, knitting and woodworking, are not those which allow the mind to wander, but instead give the mind something to focus on besides the pressures of everyday life. This re-direction of the mind is exactly what we strive for in meditation. I's like giving our minds a little vacation. When the mind is allowed to re-focus on something other than the bills that need to be paid, or the deadline at work, or the spat with the brother, the mind is able to let go of it's attachment to the object of it's suffering and relax. The relaxed state of the mind contributes to a sense of well-being and harmony, and provides a boost to our energy level. No wonder many hobbies become passions - they give us little glimpses of the liberation from suffering that we strive for.

Creating Possibility

2009-04-10T10:32:00.000-07:00

A couple of years ago I was in Lisbon with a group of tourists (I suppose that actually made me a tourist as well, but I digress). Several of us took an evening excursion to a local casino. I'm not a big gambler, so I just spent some time at the slot machines. On the way home one gentleman in our group, who looked and sounded a bit like Humphrey Bogart, asked the tour director where the craps tables were. She replied, "The Portuguese don't really play craps." Thinking for a moment, "Bogie" retorted, "How could they, without any tables?"

Inevitably when I mention to people that I'm a yoga teacher, someone will say, "Oh, I can't do yoga, I can't even touch my toes!" I always chuckle when I hear this, because when I went to my first yoga class I couldn't touch my toes either. In fact if a pose required any flexibility at all, I couldn't do it. I'm still more drawn to poses that require strength over flexibility. I know other people who suddenly need to use the bathroom when we start working on inversions, but could fall asleep in Paschimotanasana (Seated Forward Fold) with their head resting on their shins.

I had a teacher once who took the time to work with me on the mechanics of a forward fold. We started with the action of the legs in a standing forward fold: quads active, knees soft, grounding through the balls of the big toes, sitting bones opening, lower belly drawing in. From there we started bending from the hips, using blocks under my hands to provide the support I couldn't get from the floor which was too far away. We experimented with the legs straight, the knees bent, etc. until I could feel the fold in the hips and the deepening of the groins while still working with the activity in the legs and the lengthening of the spine. My hands still didn't make it to the floor, and I was clearly getting frustrated. My teacher patiently explained that my hands may never touch the floor, but that we were creating the situation where it's possibe that they might. The important thing was that I worked in this manner, regardless, so that I didn't strain my back or hamstrings.

With the understanding that not all poses are appropriate for all people, the way I try to approach my practice and my teaching, particularly when I'm working on poses that are new or challenging, is that I break them down from a mechanical perspective. Am I grounding myself in my feet or my hands? Am I essentially folding forward or opening the front of my body? Where is my gaze? Where does the support in the pose come from: the core? the shoulders? the legs? Which direction is the energy in the pose going? How am I using my breath? From there I practice bits and pieces of the pose until I can start to combine all of the elements together. Even then, there is no guarantee that I will get my legs extended and floating off the floor in Titibhasana (Firefly Pose) or lower my hips all the way to the floor in Hanumanasana (Forward Splits), but in continually practicing the elements, over and over in the face of all obstacles as Martha Graham says, I am creating the possibility where these things might occur.

This requires a lof of determination and a leap of faith, but we all have to make these leaps in our lives from time to time. We spend years studying and preparing for a career, but there's no guarantee that we'll get the job we want. Oftentimes we have to start with a job that is only related to what we want to do, but we continue to show up every day, building our set of skills and practicing our craft; creating the situation where the dream job will present itself. We want a family, so we have to put ourselves in the situations where we might meet the person with whom we want to create it. We have the novel we want to write, the landscape we want to paint, the cabinet we want to build, the program we want to code; whatever goal we set for ourselves we have to put in the work, with no guarantee of the result we want, but in the practicing we create more and more possibility.

Recently I decided to sell my desk and a sofa that were taking up too much room in my home office. I'm creating a space where I can do my home practice and possibly teach private yoga sessions. Right now the space is a mess until I find or build the storage I need for my books and files. I'm quite certain that I'll continue my home practice, but I have no guarantees that I will get any private clients. But like Kevin Costner in Field of Dreams, I'm going to build it, and hopefully they will come.

Yoga Magellen

2009-03-19T09:27:00.000-07:00

Today I was feeling a little stiff in my lower back, and my left shoulder was bothering me. I had planned to do a home practice, but was very tempted to skip it to give my back and shoulder some rest. Still, I thought maybe I'd just do a light practice to loosen things up a bit, and then get on with my day. Since my time today is a bit less structured, I hit my mat with no particular expectations; just the idea to work on the areas that were bothering me. An hour and a half later I had done a full practice, including some inversions and arm balances that I hadn't worked on in a while. With no particular agenda for my practice, I was able to use my time to connect with my body and breath, and allow them to lead me where I needed to go. I took my time along the way to enjoy a few poses and work on some variations I hadn't worked on before. I played around with some sequencing ideas; some worked, some didn't, and even though I had a sense of the direction I was going in, I had no specific poses that I specifically wanted to visit but instead opted to follow where I was being led.

Sometimes I feel like a tourist visiting my practice. I have my guidebook in hand, I know all the sights I want to see along the way, I have an itinerary of where I need to be and at what time. I may be able to see and do some fun things, but at the end of the day I really didn't get to partake in the culture, or spend time browsing through the really cool bazaar at the side of the road. Today I felt more like an explorer. I had my compass and a knife, a bottle of water and a sleeping bag. I was able to set out on a journey with no specific destination in mind, spend time with the locals and make some new friends along the way. I journeyed in whatever direction I was compelled, and took my time once I got there.

So often I get caught up in what I can accomplish; how much can I get done? how many poses can I fit in? how can I make this transition more interesting? This approach has it's benefits. Structure can be very beneficial, and we can learn a great deal from setting goals and making plans on how to accomplish them. It's when I get caught up in the results that I get discouraged. When I start judging today's practice by what I did yesterday, or last week or even last year. That's where I need to remember to point my body in the right direction and let my breath guide me the rest of the way. Then I become open to whatever might present itself, and stop being locked into the rut of what I "should" be experiencing. So, even on those days when I'm pressed for time and need to stick to the itinerary, I can still retain the spirit of the explorer.

Dancing On Air

2009-03-03T12:58:00.000-08:00

A few years ago, my wife and I went to a hot-air balloon festival in New Jersey. We spent much of the afternoon visiting the vendors and eating "fair food," but at around 5 p.m. everyone started to stake out their territory next to the balloon launch zone to witness the big show - the launching of dozens and dozens of hot-air balloons. My wife and I spread our blanket, set out our chairs, got out our picnic supplies and started to settle in for the spectacle. Already we could see several balloons beginning to inflate; there were balloons of every shape and color, and the excitement was becoming palpable. All of a sudden we were approached by a rather official-looking person who asked if we'd like to help crew one of the balloons. At first we were just stared at each other in disbelief, but then we both jumped up and started to gather our belongings. How could we pass up a chance like this?

We were escorted to a balloon owned and operated by a Pepperidge Farm distributor from the St. Louis area. He specialized in the little goldfish crackers, and in fact had one of the goldfish emblazoned on the side of his balloon. He also had baskets full of sample-sized goldfish cracker packages, all with long red streamers attached to them. We were quickly informed that we were going to help them inflate the envelope (the technical term for the balloon). First, we helped attach the basket, which looks like a big wicker flower basket, then the crew chief and I unfurled the envelope. The pilot turned on a couple of big fans and aimed them into the throat of the envelope. My job was to help hold the throat open while other crew members helped open the folds of the envelope so that the air could distribute inside. It was beautiful to watch. Like some multicolored primordial creature, the balloon would begin to expand, then as more folds were opened it would softly settle. The air was both giving it shape and supporting it's mass.

Once the envelope was most of the way full, the pilot directed the propane jets into it, and started heating the air. It was like a giant had been awakened. The air inside heated surprisingly quickly, and the balloon began to lift upright. The crew chief and I held onto the ropes to keep the balloon steady as the pilot entered the basket with the paying passengers. Just as the balloon was about to leave the ground, the pilot turned to my wife (who is not overly fond of heights) and said "Get in." She gave me a look that said, "I have to!" and up they sailed.

I should mention that if you've never seen a mass launching of hot air balloons, it really is indescribable. Virtually silent except for the sound of the propane jets and the gasps of the crowd, it's almost reverent.

I got into the chase car with the crew chief and we started following our balloon. For about 30 minutes we navigated the back roads of New Jersey, through neighborhoods and fields, business parks and ball parks. Finally we saw the balloon start to descend in a neighborhood. Red streamers started to fall from inside the basket as packages of goldfish crackers were being tossed to the crowd below. The pilot had landed in someone's back yard, and it was as if Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and Willy Wonka had landed. Dozens of kids and parents were running over to see what wizard had fallen from the sky. The pilot, all smiles, helped the passengers out of the basket as the crew chief and I grabbed the ropes. My wife was beaming and almost speechless. As we helped deflate the balloon she just kept saying, "You've got to do this...you've got to do this."

The next day I had my chance. We ended up going back and helping them with the morning launch, and I was the one who got to experience the magic of flying, suspended by nothing more than air and a few ropes. The ascension was nearly undetectable. All of a sudden we were 50, then 100, then 200 feet off the ground. Elevators are more jarring. The whole experience was peaceful and awe-inspiring. Every few seconds the pilot turned on the porpane to heat the air so we would rise, or would open the vent at the top so that we would descend. Like breathing, it was a constant balance of inhales and exhales in order to keep us at a favorable altitude.

Lately in my yoga practice I've been reminded of this experience. As I warm up, I use my breath to help open up all the tight spots in my muscles and joints, preparing my lungs to breathe fully. I tune in to the subtle movement that my breath is creating in my body: my inhales opening me and giving me structure, my exhales softening me and releasing tension and rigidity. As I allow my breath to deepen, I begin to move my body in the directions that it is being encouraged to go. Inhaling length and space, exhaling roundness and surrender. My breath then guides me through a series of sun salutations, creating heat and suppleness in my joints and muscles. As I continue in my practice, I begin to alter the shape of my body to direct my breath into different areas, like squeezing a balloon will cause the air inside to expand away from the point of constriction. Softening, I allow the breath to open up the points of restriction and tension, allowing me to find even more opening. Using the quality of the inhales and exhales as a guide, my body finds the right altitude to sail at, effortlessly and peacefully. If I stop paying attention I can either over-heat and begin to sail away into unsafe altitudes, or become dull and start to fall from the sky. The constant flow of breath, the inhales and exhales, allows me to maintain an even tack. As I let my exhales deepen and my breath become softer, I allow gravity to assist in the process of letting go of the flight, and re-ground myself to the earth.

Reflections

2009-02-03T07:39:00.000-08:00

We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.
~ Anais Nin ~

What do you see when you look in the mirror? Is the reflection a strong, confident person, or someone who needs to lose 10 pounds? Is the face looking back at you a husband or wife, father or mother, boss or employee, son or daugther, student or drop-out? Does the person looking back at you change during the day? Is it a different face in the morning than it is in the evening?

In truth, all you see when you look in the mirror is the interplay between light and a reflective surface. All of the other identities, attachments and aversions are those that we create from our own experience and judgement.

We have other mirrors around us all the time. They are our friends, relatives, co-workers; even the person who serves us our coffee. Each of them acts as a reflective medium of our behavior and attitude, bouncing back to us our own behavior based on their experience of us. When we are feeling upbeat and friendly most people react in kind. When we are grouchy and abrupt, people may treat us coolly or even avoid us altogether. If, however, we are generally happy and sociable, and one day we are grouchy and sullen, those who know us may react with concern. Suspecting something is wrong, they may behave more compassionately or even cautiously towards us. If we are generally quiet and reserved, and suddenly begin to make jokes and "let our hair down," people may be surprised at first; perhaps even shocked. Some may become suspicious, others may begin to gravitate toward us, still others may try to encourage us to continue in this new behavior.
We also react to what other people say and do through the filter of our own experience and attitude at the particular moment. Someone says "have a nice day," and depending on our circumstances, we might react in a variety of ways. If we've just been met with some bad news, we might lash out. If we are in a rush, we might dismiss the sentiment. If we are feeling upbeat, we might respond with a smile and a "Same to you!" Each of these reactions will then be reflected back by the recipient based on their experience at the time, and their knowledge of us. So each of our interchanges becomes a series of reflections back and forth, much like a funhouse maze.

Of course, just like in a funhouse, sometimes our image gets distorted when it is reflected back. Often this happens in the context of a relationship, be it spouses, relatives, friends, co-workers, simply becuase there already exists a set of expectations and behaviors. We say or do something, and depending on the recipient's state of mind they might misinterpret our words or deeds. The distortions caused by their present cirumstances bend our meaning like the waves in a carnival mirror, and what is reflected back is out of proportion to reality. They react in a way that we weren't expecting, we get confused and react back based on that confusion. All of a sudden we are embroiled in something completely different than we had intended.

This is what Patanjali refers to when he speaks of the "citta vritti," or "fluctuations of the mind." Through our practice of awareness, observation and attention, we are able to recognize when we are reacting out of our circumstances rather than the reality of the situation. Once we are able to clean and smooth out the surface of our mind, we become able to interrupt these patterns before they take hold, allowing us to see and react with clarity and equanimity. When we become sensitive and receptive to how others react towards us, reflecting our behavior, we develop the ability to understand how our actions are seen, and we gain greater insight into our own agendas and attitudes. Ahimsa (non-harming) and Satya (truthfulness) become the light that uncovers patterns of behavior, and we begin to take responsibility for our actions and attitudes.

When I teach Partner Yoga, the one thing that I always find interesting is witnessing how the partners relate to each other. It's easy to see what the relationship is like simply through the way the participants work with each other. Do they work as a team, or is one person the leader? Does one person get frustrated with the other because they are not as strong/flexible/ supportive? Do the partners take time to really relate to each other, to sense each other's breath and presence, or do they plow headlong attached to their own agenda? One woman asked me during a private Partner session if this was couples therapy. I smiled and said, "No, this is just yoga. But if you remain open, who knows what you might discover."

Frank's workshop day 1

2009-01-31T19:15:00.001-08:00

OK, I'm amazed that I'm even able to type...my shoulders are so sore from all the inversions today!

I'm loving the Louisville Yoga community! They're very friendly and welcoming, and the Yoga East studio we're at is spacious and lovely. I didn't realize that so many of the teachers here are OM yoga trained.

The first workshop today focused on the awareness of how the breath and body work together in the yoga practice; how we can use the awareness of our breath to align our bodies and how the precise attention to the breath informs our asana practice. The thing I love about Frank's teaching is his precision of language and attention to detail. This, combined with an in-depth understanding of anatomy and a keen eye for alignment all make him one of the most perceptive teachers I've worked with. The second workshop focused on standing poses and inversions. Specifically, about how the grounding of our bodies, either through our feet or our hands, provides the lifting that we need to find ease in these challenging poses. Frank does a fabulous job of preparing you for each step of a pose, no matter how challenging. At one point we were working on Badha Parvritta Parsvokonasana (Bound Rotated Side Angle), and taking that to Badha Parvritta Ardha Chandrasana Bound rotated Ardha Chandrasana). It was the closest I've come to that pose (and I would have gotten it had it not been for a bit too much hummus at lunch). After several Pincha Mayurasana (Forearm Balance) and a few wheels, not to mention an extended Shoulderstand, I was done.

After class, several of us went to dinner at a local pub/cafe. We had a wonderful time hanging out, sharing stories and winding down. I'm SO looking forward to tomorrow.

Why we practice

2009-01-16T07:14:00.000-08:00

Like many, if not all, of you, I was entranced by the events of yesterday's miraculous plane ditching in the Hudson River. For any of you who have flown in or out of LaGuardia airport, even a normal landing or take-off can be a bit harrowing. Between the winds over the East River and Flushing Bay, the impressive yet daunting buildings that make up New York City and the sheer amount of air traffic, even seasoned travellers find themselves running through disaster scenarios in their minds. After what appears to be a collision with a flock of geese which took out both engines moments after take-off, the idea that Capt. Sullenberger had the presence of mind to quickly run through his various options, and then was able to put the aircraft down - safely - in the middle of the Hudson River without hitting buildings, bridges, piers AND with no loss of life is impressive indeed. Granted, a bit of luck was on his side. Except for the bone-chilling cold, the weather conditions were, as the aviation pundits like to say, favorable. Despite not being able to see below, there were no helicopters, aircraft or boats underneath him. Still, the single most impressive factor that saved the 155 lives on board was preparation.

Capt. Sullenberger is a former Air Force pilot with 40 years of experience flying planes. Additionally, he is an aviation accident investigator and safety expert. This mix of experience and preparation assisted him in quickly analyzing the situation and taking an appropriate course of action. According to some of the interviews with other pilots I heard on the news last night, the ditching was nearly textbook. One pilot, who happened to be in the cockpit in another near-tragic plane crash a decade ago, said that pilots have the rare opportunity to be in the classroom everyday. Between personal experience behind the controls, as well as discussions with other pilots, a mental file drawer of various scenarios and solutions is put together. Capt. Sullenberger, with his years of experience, had a mental file drawer that was overflowing, but the one quality that distinguished him yesterday was his ability to maintain composure under extreme conditions. Had he panicked, the results yesterday might have been quite different.

What Capt. Sullenberger possessed was an ability to focus, control his emotions and calm himself. Constant practice created a habit. As Patanjali says in the Yoga Sutras, practice becomes firmly grounded when well attended to for a long time, without break and in all earnestness. I recently found out that my brother-in-law, a retired NYC police officer, established a practice of only firing three shots at a time on the pistol range. He wanted to make sure that, should he ever have to use deadly force, he had trained himself to not lose control and empty his clip.

Most of us will never run into these extreme situations, however we never know when a crisis might hit. We hit a patch of ice and our car begins to slide out of control. We look around and don't see our child beside us in the mall. We get a phone call that our sister got bad results on her cancer screening. Our computer crashes and all of the files that we need for the presentation tomorrow are now lost. Any of these situations might send us into a frenzy of panic which will cloud our judgement and cause us to act irrationally. By continually observing our own lives, and by observing others, we create our own mental file drawer of scenarios and solutions. By continually practicing our attention to our breath, how we react to stressful situations in our asana practice and a mindfulness to our surroundings, we might be able to react in a calm manner, taking appropriate action and averting a crisis.

Keeping it real

2008-11-25T12:29:00.000-08:00

Every now and then I catch myself saying something in class, and immediately feel a cringe run through my body. Not that I said anything inappropriate (though I have to guard myself against that from time to time) or mean-spirited (that's really not in my nature...often). No, sometimes I say something that just doesn't sound like ME. Sometimes it's something I pick up from another teacher, but more often it's when I am trying to sound deep, profound and yoga-like. As soon as it's out of my mouth I feel the eyes of the entire class on me, and they are rolling.

I'm probably the only person who is accutely aware of when this happens. But every time it does, I feel like I've let the class down. After all, they made time in their day to come to my class, and they deserve something better than some recycled, re-hashed, regurgitated philosphical BS. Some of these pearls are prefaced with the words, "It is said that..." or "I'm told...," but often I'm just spouting something that I thought sounded clever. That's really just another way of saying, "I have no firsthand knowledge of this, but I don't want to appear ignorant so I'm going to hide behind this mask for a minute and I hope you don't notice."

Now I'm not saying that every morsel that trips off my tongue needs to be an epiphany or even an original thought...after all, there is so much written on the subject of yoga by people far more experienced than I, so I don't have to try to reinvent the wheel each time I teach. But, as a teacher, the one unique thing I have to offer is my own personal experience with whatever it is that I'm teaching. If my students want to know what Seane Corn or Pema Chodron or Cyndi Lee have to say on a particular subject, there are plenty of resources available. I might reference their wisdom, but if all I have to offer is what someone else says, then I might as well pop in a DVD and let the students follow that.

I've come a long way in finding my "authentic voice" as a teacher, but there is still plenty of room for growth. If I'm lucky, I'll continue learning and growing and gaining more and more experiences to draw from to illustrate the points I'm trying to make in class. But I guess in putting this out there, I'm holding myself accountable. Or at least keeping myself aware.

What's the appeal?

2008-11-13T13:08:00.000-08:00

I often wonder...what is it that draws people to yoga? I'm sure each of your reasons would be unique. Are you looking to be challenged physically, mentally and spiritually? Or do you get enough of a challenge in your everyday life, and just want a place that is a happy and peaceful refuge?

Is it the workout? If it's just the physical aspect, then why yoga?

Is it the spiritual aspect? If so, then why not go to a more traditional house of worship?

Is it the sense of community? Why not volunteer?

What is it that keeps YOU coming to class?

Small Victories

2008-11-12T10:49:00.000-08:00

I remember when I was a relatively new yoga student, and I imagined that I would be fully content if I could only get up into a headstand away from the wall. I tried and tried and tried, and after months (and falling through a wall) I finally got there. Of course, the next day I had completely lost the ability, and it took several more weeks before I was able to make my way up into the pose again. But by that time, I had my sights set on another "unachievable" pose: Handstand.

Throughout my yoga "career" I continually find poses that seem nearly impossible. Some I've been able to achieve, some I'm still working on. What I've learned, though, is that achievement of a particular pose is really immaterial, though it's still very exciting and empowering. (I also take a great deal of delight whenever one of my students, after weeks or even months of practice, achieves a goal that they set for themselves.) The important thing is that we keep trying and practicing. We keep taking action, and once in a while we can even let go of our attachment to the results of our efforts. For me, that is when yoga transcends the physical and the practice becomes an expression of play and of joy.

But not all of the achievements come from turning ourselves upside down, or twisting ourselves into a contortion that human beings should not be able to do. I teach a Chair Yoga class for a group of (primarily) seniors. Most of them have mobility issues of one type or another. Over the months that I've been teaching this class, I've seen definite improvement in all of the students, but it's really their dedication and commitment that inspires me. A few weeks ago, a new gentleman joined our class. He's roughly in his mid-eighties, and except for using a cane for balance, he appeared to be in relatively good health. He did complain of some balance issues, but mainly he felt "out of juice." I was immediately won over by his slightly mischievous personality. Anytime I asked him to do anything, he just chuckled to himself, as if to say "OK, I'll try, but don't expect too much."

Today, just four weeks into the session, he showed up without his cane, claiming he "forgot it." We worked on some seated breathing and stretching, all accompanied by his chuckle of resignation, then got up and worked on some standing poses to help with balance. We finished off with some seated twists, seated forward folds and a seated meditation/relaxation. At the end of class, the gentleman stood up (again, without the cane), and said, "Watch this." He bent over, reached down to the floor as if he were picking something up, then stood back up. He said that when he started the class, he couldn't even get halfway there, and walking without his cane was impossible. He said that once in a while throughout the day he even remembers to take some slow deep breaths. "I still feel out of juice, but this has helped," he chuckled as he left.

I've been witness to yoga's transformative effects in my own life, and I've seen students achieve inversions, binds and arm balances that they thought were impossible. I've been very happy and proud of each of them. I don't think, though, that I've ever felt as much satisfaction as a teacher as I did this morning when this gentleman told me that he could tie his own shoes for the first time in a long time.

IYA Fall Yoga Retreat - Day Three

2008-11-09T13:21:00.000-08:00

Today was the final day of the IYA retreat. I'm a bit sad. As ready as I was to come home, I was having a great time hanging out with many friends, both old and new. There was a great energy and synergy going on.

So, last night I went down to socialize, but the only others there were prenatal teacher Jean Arnold and her husband and ADORABLE little boy. Jean and I had not officially met, even though we both taught at the same studio for a while, and it was great to get to know her a bit.

Got a bit more sleep last night, though I was still interrupted at about 2 a.m. by some folks returning from the downstairs bar. Reminded me of living back in NYC. I skipped Dona Robinson's Pranayama this a.m., opting for some sleep instead. Too bad, I'm sure it was wonderful. Dona is such a well-respected teacher in this area, and her depth of knowledge is amazing. My Adjustments and Alignment workshop went well, though I wish I had 2 more hours. We only got to about 4 or 5 poses, and really didn't get a chance to fully explore these.

The final workshop I went to was on the use of sound and chanting to enhance our pranayama and asana practice. Led by Devin McGuire, this was a unique method (to me, at least) of utilizing sound in order to locate and engage the bandhas, as well as a way to practice breath awareness, retention and suspension. I'm hoping that Devin is open to bringing his workshop up north...I think it would be very welcome at one of the studios I teach at.

Ended the day with lunch with some members of the IYA board. I'm considering volunteering, but probably not as a Chairperson. I'm sure there's more opportunities for service.

As always, I left the retreat feeling inspired, uplifted, and hopeful for the role of yoga in our State.

Namaste to all my friends and yoga buddies!

IYA Fall Yoga Retreat - Day Two

2008-11-08T17:08:00.000-08:00

Here I am at 8 p.m., sitting in my hotel room while some yoga socializin' is beginning downstairs. I needed a few minutes to myself to reflect on the day (and rest my achin' knee!).

First, my hotel-neighbor was enjoying something funny on TV till about 2 a.m., so I got very little sleep. Still, I made it to the Pranayama class this morning, led by the wonderful Nancy Schalk. It was a wonderful way to start the day, though I had to run across the street to get a cup of coffee beforehand. The pranayama soothed my jangled nerves and I went forth balanced and serene to Ann Miller's Moon Salutation class. I've done Moon Salutations only a couple of times in the past, and despite their name, I find them very nice in the morning. A gentle, but by no means non-challenging way to heat and stretch the morning-tight muscles and joints. Ann does a wonderful job of preparing the body with simple yet powerful warm-ups, and then guides you through the Moon Salutation series 3 times, once for each day of the New Moon, with gradually increasing pace and depth.

I was very pleased with how my Inversion workshop went. I had about a dozen participants, which is a great number for a good energy level, but not so many that we couldn't do some individual work. Hopefully it was well received.

After an enjoyable lunch with some Yoga Buddies, I went to Nancy Schalk's Yoga Therapy class. I had to choose between that and a Restorative Yoga class. It was a tough choice, but I was afraid I'd fall asleep in Restorative, given the lack of sleep and the recent lunch. I got a lot of good info from Nancy that I hope to use in my Chair Yoga class.

Finally got a chance to take one of Sage Hale's Kripalu classes. I've heard such good things about her classes at Invoke, so I was pleased that she was here. Never taken a Kripalu class before...it's a bit slower than the vinyasa flow classes I usually prefer, but I found the class to be very powerful, and it left me with a very relaxed, energized feeling. Sage has a very nice manner as a teacher. She allows her slightly mischievous personality to come through nicely.

Thom Adams led an Iyengar class, which was very informative and challenging. Iyengar classes are a bit different in approach than other classes. The teacher demonstrates the pose, we go to our mats and work on it, then the teacher demonstrates the pose again, with more specific alignment issues to work with, and then we practice again. I got some good info from him on some alignment, as well as some good partner assists.

After dinner, I went to my friend Renee Bogard's Yoga Nidra (like an extended, guided Savasana). it was a great way to cap the day. Renee has a wonderful voice which is very soothing without being droning.

So, now I'm changing out of my comfy yoga clothes, putting on some jeans, and heading down to see what the festivities are. I may call it an early evening, though. I still have to finalize my class for tomorrow.

IYA Fall Yoga Retreat - Night One

2008-11-07T19:17:00.000-08:00

Well, I got here around 9:30 p.m., so not a lot going on. There were a few people sitting around talking about how they got into yoga, what it means to them, and why they're here. Seems like a nice group. Different backgrounds and styles. My friend Andrea is here, and Eric Banter and his mother Linda are also here. It's always good to see some familiar faces.

There have been a few schedule changes, some I'm disappointed about. Overall, though, I'm really looking forward to spending the weekend learning and practicing. Oh, and teaching too. But mainly learning and practicing.

Gotta go...I want to make the 6:30 a.m. pranayama class!

We Shall See

2008-11-06T09:47:00.000-08:00

It's been so long since I've posted on here. Life has been incredibly busy and full (an amazing and much needed trip to Spain, a very exciting and challenging opportunity to do some fight choreography, some yoga workshops and retreats), and now things are starting to come to a low boil.

Like much of the country, I've also been wrapped up in the recent Presidential race. It's been exciting and energizing to witness so many people getting really involved in the process, from the debates to the media, to the actual voting. This is truly what makes our country so amazing. Despite some of the problems of our nation, despite some of the problems in the process, and even despite some of the devisiveness that political seasons can uncover, the fact that We The People have a say in how we want our country to be shaped is inspiring.

I was very pleased with how the election turned out. This was an historic moment for our nation. Our first President, elected of the people, by the people and for the people, who happens to be African-American. It gives me hope for the world that my grand-daughter will grow up in. It gives me hope for the way our country is now perceived in the world. It gives me hope on so many different fronts, but I am constantly reminded of my favorite Yoga parables:

There once was a farmer. One day the farmer’s only horse broke out of the corral and ran away. The farmer’s neighbors, all hearing of the horse running away, came to the farmer's house to view the corral. As they stood there, the neighbors all said, "Oh what bad luck!" The farmer replied, "We shall see."

About a week later, the horse returned, bringing with it a whole herd of wild horses, which the farmer and his son quickly corralled. The neighbors, hearing of the corralling of the horses, came to see for themselves. As they stood there looking at the corral filled with horses, the neighbors said, "Oh what good luck!" The farmer replied, "We shall see."

A couple of weeks later, the farmer's son's leg was badly broken when he was thrown from a horse he was trying to break. A few days later the broken leg became infected and the son became delirious with fever. The neighbors, all hearing of the incident, came to see the son. As they stood there, the neighbors said, "Oh what bad luck!" The farmer replied, "We shall see."

At that same time in China, there was a war going on between two rival warlords. The warlord of the farmer's village was involved in this war. In need of more soldiers, he sent one of his captains to the village to conscript young men to fight in the war. When the captain came to take the farmer's son he found a young man with a broken leg who was delirious with fever. Knowing there was no way the son could fight, the captain left him there. A few days later, the son's fever broke. The neighbors, hearing of the son's not being taken to fight in the war and of his return to good health, all came to see him. As they stood there, each one said, "Oh what good luck!" The farmer replied, "We shall see."

While I'm pleased with the outcome of the election, we really don't know how things are going to go. Right now, for many people, this seems like a fresh ray of hope. I was moved by President Elect Obama's speech on the eve of the election, as well as Senator McCain's. Was this an historic moment? Absolutely, but once we get past the historic significance, this election was won more on a desire for change in the country than the election of the first black President. I'm sure PE Obama would agree with that. As PE Obama stated in his speech, "This victory alone is not the change we seek – it is only the chance for us to make that change."

Will this election, and the next four years be all many people are hoping and expecting? "We shall see."

2008-10-07T18:12:00.000-07:00

In my recent newsletter, I suggested that we could find ways to ease suffering and be of service close to home. Here are some ideas that I came up with, but I'd like to hear from you. Please feel free to leave a comment with your ideas:

1. Volunteer at Nursing Home/Adult Day Care
2. Volunteer at Hospitals
3. Start a canned food drive for needy families
4. Start a diaper drive for needy families
5. Volunteer to read to visually challenged individuals
6. Volunteer for IRIS
7. Volunteer at your local library
8. Clean out your closets and donate gently used coats and clothing to shelters
9. Donate gently used business wear to organizations such as Dress for Success or Career Gear
10. Volunteer to clean up parks and rivers
11. Maintain one of the neighborhood flower beds
12. Start a neighborhood beautification task force
13. Volunteer at the Humane Society
14. Volunteer to do Animal Rescue Transport
15. Help an elderly neighbor or relative with yard work
16. Offer to do the grocery shopping for a home-bound individual
17. Offer to take an elderly relative’s pet for a walk
18. Offer to babysit one evening a month for an overworked young couple
19. Volunteer at your local house of worship
20. Volunteer to help clean or do clerical work for a local yoga studio

Don’t wait to be asked…when you see something that needs to be done, just do it!

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

2008-09-04T06:00:00.000-07:00

A couple of years ago, someone close to me went through a series of life altering events: her oldest daughter had gotten married and was expecting a baby, her new son-in-law was getting ready to ship off to Iraq, her son was moving out of the house, her dog which she'd had for over 10 years was getting older and having many life-threatening health problems. She had a lot on her plate. Suddenly, she found herself unable to sleep, unable to sit still, unable to focus at work. In addition to a mild anti-anxiety prescription, her doctor recommeded that she try yoga to help her deal with all the new stress in her life. She and I worked together and found that what helped her the most was the deep, controlled mindful breathing.

This is the time of year when there are many changes in our lives. School is starting, some people send their children away to college for the first time, many parents enter the "empty nester" phase of their lives, vacation season is over, and work picks up. Weekends, spent at the pool or on vacation for the last several months, are now filled with sporting events and other "extracurricular" activities. The days start to grow shorter, the leaves change color, the evenings cool off. As a nation we're also on the verge of making decisions as to the leadership of our country.

Our yoga practice teaches us that all things have a begnning, a middle and an end. We enter a pose, we abide in the pose for a period of time, and then we exit the pose. In vinyasa yoga we link these moments together with our breath. We enter our asana practice with a full, energizing, pranic inhale. We may stay in this pose for a single breath, or for several breaths, but ultimately we know we must leave the pose. We do so with a slow, controlled, mindful exhale, allowing the shape of the pose to fall away, or morph into an entirely new shape. When we become adept at this practice, our bodies and our breath form a dance of our spirit. Our mind begins to focus and all of the chatter begins to quiet and silence. Through this practice of entering, abiding and leaving, we learn to deal with other transitions in our lives, staying connected and grounded through this process of mindful awareness to our breathing.

I recently made the choice to let go of a class that I had been teaching almost since I began teaching. A new opportunity presented itself which I found to be very exciting and will help me continue to grow as a teacher. It was a difficult decision to make. I have seen the regular students in the class blossom into beautiful practitioners. Attendance had recently jumped. My ego rebelled against the idea of moving on, but after some reflection and meditation I realized that it was time. I will benefit from the new challenge, and they will benefit from a fresh perspective. We all just need to stay connected to our breath throughout the process.

To my Saturday Morning Source Yoga students, you have inspired me, and taught me so much. I am a better teacher, and person, because of all of you. Namaste.

Making a Difference

2008-08-21T06:37:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, September 28 I will be teaching possibly the most important class I've taught in my brief teaching career.

My friend, Pamela Broyles, is trying to raise $20,000 to take part in the Off The Mat, Into The World Seva Challenge. This year, Seane Corn and Suzanne Sterling are partnering with the Cambodian Children's Fund to conduct a yoga-based leadership training course in one of the poorest regions of the world - the garbage dumps of Cambodia where small children fend for their families by picking through the trash. During the trip, Pamela will be working directly with the children at one of the five CCF orphanages, and helping to erect a water well in a local village.

The $20,000 fund-raising goal is a requirement to demonstrate that the participants have the qualities of leadership that allow them to rally support and achieve significant goals. While a portion of the money will go to fund Pamela's trip, 90% of the remaining proceeds will be given to CCF to help support their efforts in caring and educating the children and their families. Off the Mat, Into the World® will retain the final 10% of the proceeds. This money will be used to support their charitable programs, which include paying a select number of yoga teachers in the United States willing to commit to volunteering to teach yoga to children in the inner-city educational system, juvenile detention centers, shelters, etc., once a week for one year.

To help Pamela achieve her goal, I will be teaching a 2 1/2 hour heart-opening, service-themed yoga class on Sunday, September 28 beginning at 10 a.m. at Invoke Yoga & Pilates. Suggested donation is $25. My goal is to raise $1,000, every penny of which will go to Pamela. That's only 40 people at the suggested donation level. Please help me spread the word to other yogis in our community, and to other studio owners. I'm happy to send flyers to help promote this event.

Other donations can be made online or in the mail:

Online:
1. Simply click the following link and instructions on the page:
https://secure.groundspring.org/dn/index.php?aid=24100
2. Be sure to choose 'Seva Challenge' from the drop down menu, and select ‘Pamela Broyles’ from the list of names.
3. All online donations are SECURED by GroundSpring.org.

By Mail:
1. To make a donation via check, please send to:
Off the Mat, Into the World®P.O. Box 748Venice, CA 90294
*Make checks payable to The Engage Network, and write Pamela Broyles on the MEMO line.
*All donations will go to The Engage Network, a 501c3 tax exempt organization.

Present Tense

2008-08-15T04:26:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we don't know how much we've grown until we find the right yardstick.

Last week I went to my 30th high school reunion (which seems impossible, but there it is). I was a bit nervous about going; high school was not my best time. I was a shy, scrawny, awkward kid. I didn't really fit in with any particular group, though I usually hung out with the "smart" kids. I figured I had a better chance of acceptance there than with the "jocks." It would be another couple of years before I discovered booze and drugs, so the "stoners" scared me. I was very sensitive to everyone else's opinion of me, and spent far too much time trying to be someone I wasn't...usually unsuccessfully. Also, I've never stayed in touch with anyone from high school, so I wasn't even sure if I would know anyone, or if anyone would remember me. Still, I had a desire to go. I think part of it was because the idea made me uncomfortable, I figured I had to go. I got this from my yoga practice...when I encounter a pose that I don't like or that is difficult for me I work on it a lot, trying to "make friends" with it. As my college professor used to say, "Anything we resist, persists."

So, the night of the reunion I'm getting butterflies. As someone once told me, though, the trick isn't to get rid of the butterflies, it's to make them fly in formation. So, I shower, shave, put on some nice clothes and my wife and I head over to the event. While standing at the registration table, a woman approaches me and introduces herself. She sees my name tag, and says "Oh, are you M's brother?" (I have a step-sister who was in the same class as me) "Yes! Yes I am, are you a friend of hers?" "Yes, we were friends in junior high. My name's J. " She then looked at me closer, and said, "My gosh you've changed...you used to be UGLY!"

For a moment, maybe a split-second, I was once again a shy, scrawny, awkward kid. I was ready to bolt, but then I took a breath, smiled, and came back to reality. The truth is, I'm not that person anymore. The woman was right, I have changed. Physically, yes, but more to the point I'm much more comfortable in my own skin. In the 30 years since high school, I've gone to college, started a theater company, moved to New York, had multiple jobs, had a son, fallen in and out of love (several times!), married a wonderful woman, built a house, travelled, had a granddaughter, started a fairly successful yoga business...I've had 30 years of experiences that have led me to this place where I am now. None of us are the same as we were 30 years ago. Most of us aren't the same as we were 5 years ago. Or even 1 year ago. "Well, it's been a while. We've all changed a bit," I replied (...I think...at least that's what I hope I said...I was still a little rocked by "You used to be UGLY!")

The beauty of our yoga practice is that it reminds us that the most important moment in our lives is right-here-right-now-present-tense. What happened in the past may have shaped who we are, but it's not who we are. The Downward Dog that we did yesterday has no bearing on the Downward Dog we do today. The Warrior pose we did at the beginning of today's practice might have loosened up our hips and legs a bit, but it's not the same Warrior pose we did half-way through our practice. We may have learned from the meditation we did last week, but today our minds are grasping onto an entirely different set of circumstances and chatter. As long as we can feel our feet, our seat, our hands or our head touching the ground, we have a sense of where we are, and as long as we're willing to have the courage to deal with what comes out of that, we develop a sense of who we are.

Later in the evening I spotted a guy across the room who used to terrorize me when I was in elementary school. Every day he'd sit behind me on the bus and whisper in my ear that he was gonna kill me, or kick my ass, or some such thing. Even though he never touched me, I was scared to death of him. Now, seeing him as an approaching-middle-aged, tired-looking man, he didn't seem so scary. Still, I knew that I had to talk to him. Simply because the thought of talking to him made me uncomfortable. So, I approached and introduced myself. A big smile crossed his face, and he greeted me with a warm handshake. We had a very pleasant conversation, and remarked on how nice it was to see everyone again. That was it...no big confrontation, no sobbing apology, just two adults who no longer bore any resemblance to the 10-year-old children on the bus. I realized that if I had changed in all those years, so had he.

Clearing the Path

2008-08-05T11:46:00.000-07:00

My wife and I are big fans of many of the “makeover” types of reality shows. You know the kind: ordinary people whose wardrobes/homes/children have gotten completely out of control are given the chance to work with experts to re-design, re-organize, and re-cover their lives. The one theme that continually comes up is that the mess (for lack of a better term) is NEVER about the mess. Inevitably it’s about holding on to objects or ideas that at one time may have provided a sense of solace, well-being or justice, but have quit serving their purpose and have become obstacles to moving forward. The objects or ideas themselves have become the source of the chaos, and in many instances aren’t even being well-cared for. In one telling example, a couple’s house was over-run with clutter. As the expert was helping the couple sort through the chaos, it was clear that the wife didn’t want to let go of many of the objects because they reminded her of her mother, who had passed away a few years before. They eventually got to a box of china, which had been shoved in a corner and piled over with other boxes and bags of stuff. Most of it was chipped or damaged due to the condition it was being kept in, but still the woman couldn’t let go of it because it had been her mother’s. Finally, in a stroke of insight and compassion (mixed with a dose of harsh reality) the expert asked “This plate is not your mother, and if it were, would you want her to be kept in this condition?” It was painful, but the woman got it. She took the box of china outside, and smashed it, piece by piece, letting go of years of grief and anger. When she was finished, she didn’t just seem different; she LOOKED different; younger, lighter and less burdened. After that moment of clarity, she was able to move forward and let go of even more stuff that was blocking her path. In the end, she did keep a few meaningful mementos of her mother, which she was able to display proudly and care for properly.

In our yoga practice, we use observation, meditation, pranayama and asana to help identify and clear away all of the old, outdated, un-useful thoughts and ideas that clutter up our minds and bodies. Some of these obstructions manifest as tension in the body, some as distracting thoughts, and some as fear, resentment, uncertainty, anger or self-loathing. Many of these obstructions have, or had, a purpose: tension is the result of stress, and is a part of the “fight or flight” response that can be useful in dangerous situations; our ability to generate and follow thoughts are helpful in both the creative process as well as in developing plans of action and strategies; fear and uncertainty can help prevent us from injuring ourselves or others; anger, resentment and self-loathing, while not “healthy” emotions themselves, may be reactions to obstacles, real or perceived, facing us when we try to set and accomplish goals. The problem is when these natural tendencies start to run amok and create barriers to our ability to move forward. These tendencies sometimes are so ingrained, however, that we view them as a part of who we are, and the thought of letting go of them is about as appealing as hacking off one of our legs.

Just over 10 years ago, I was a very serious smoker. My feet didn’t hit the floor in the morning until I had a lit cigarette in my mouth. Then another one right after my shower with my coffee. Another as I got dressed, and still another as I walked to the subway. You get the picture. I was hooked. Not just physically and psychologically, either – I was terrified of what would happen to me if I gave them up. Having quit before, I knew what to expect in terms of the physical withdrawal (some liken it to quitting heroin), but what really scared me was what I would do with all the time that I spent smoking. If you figure it takes an average of 15 minutes to smoke a cigarette, and I was smoking a pack of 20 cigarettes a day, I was spending about 5 hours a day smoking. Granted, most of that time I was doing other things, but that’s still a lot of time to fill. The day that I quit, I hadn’t planned on it. I woke up with an un-opened pack on my dresser, and decided that I would see what it would be like if I delayed opening it until I was done with my shower. It wasn’t too bad, so I decided to delay opening it till I was done with my coffee. Since I had the extra time, I got dressed as I had my coffee and then I had more extra time on my hands, so I decided to start my walk to the subway a bit earlier, still delaying opening the pack, which of course I brought with me. I kept doing this for 3 days, finally deciding that I was committed to the idea of not opening the pack. After 2 weeks, I gave the pack to a friend of mine and I haven’t had a cigarette since.

As I suspected, there was now a vacuum of time that needed to be filled. I started going to a lot of movies. Then I started reading more. I took up roller-blading, and started to attempt several things that I’d always wanted to do, but never could find the time for. It was this path that led me to my first yoga class.

In our asana practice, we begin to notice tension in our bodies, which is a blockage of energy (prana) and, as I mentioned earlier, is the result of stress. As we begin to identify tension, we begin to find ways of releasing it. Sometimes that requires strengthening other parts of our body, sometimes it’s just a matter of re-alignment of the bones and muscles. Once we’ve released the tension, there is a void that is created where the blockage used to be. Something needs to fill that void, so we either re-introduce tension, or we keep it open allowing fresh prana to rush in. If we allow the fresh prana in, our pose seems fresher, more vibrant, more alive. We’re able to breathe more fully, and maintain a sense of well-being. Usually what happens, though, is that the tension re-settles into another area. So, we start the process again, identifying, releasing, creating space and watching what happens. Like a game of “hide and seek” we continue working with the tension in our bodies in this fashion until we eventually uncover all of the hiding spots and can abide in stillness and serenity. By consciously releasing tension, our practice becomes almost effortless and our minds have the opportunity to settle.

We do the same thing in our meditation practice. Once we’re able to still the body, we sit back and observe our thoughts. At first we just notice the thoughts as they arise, without judgment, and gently re-direct our awareness to our breath. Once we’re able to cultivate this observational, non-judgmental, “witness” approach to our thoughts, we begin to notice patterns arising. Going back to the television show analogy, sometimes the participants will be asked to sort their belongings into 3 piles – things to keep, things to discard, and things to repair. It’s the same with our thoughts. Are they serving us? If so, we’ll keep them around. If they’re not serving us, we work to remove or ignore them. Then there are those that might have been useful at one time, but due to abuse or neglect have become obstacles. Those we begin to work on to change alter or mend. As we begin to work with our thoughts in this manner, like the tension in our bodies, the thoughts start to re-appear in other areas or in other forms. So, we continue the process, seeking out their dark hiding places and shining the light of our discrimination on them. As we expose them and learn to release them, we create the void for fresh, new, positive thoughts to dwell.

We can continue this process into our relationships, our work situation, our living situation, whatever is causing disharmony, stress or barriers to our happiness. We observe, we identify, we apply our discrimination and then we take action to free ourselves from the bondage that has been created. Where are we harboring resentment? Where have we acted selfishly? Where are we holding onto things out of habit or obligation? Where are we using the things or situations in our lives as excuses to hold onto the past and rob ourselves of the present? We look closely and objectively at our choices and our role in creating each situation, and then take action to either repair it or release it. Sometimes, energized by this process, we may be tempted to discard everything and start fresh. Because these situations often involve other people, we need to make sure that we don’t create more chaos as we attempt to rid ourselves of un-happy situations. For this reason, it is wise to proceed on this path with the assistance of someone who can act as a guide or sounding board. Someone who has our best interests at heart, but who can also be objective and honest, and who can help us explore the choices we are making.

As we practice this, we become lighter, more vibrant, more filled with energy, and we’ve created the space for new, fresh and positive things to enter our lives. From time to time, we all need to do a little housecleaning. Sometimes we clean out a drawer, sometimes we tackle the attic. Regardless of how big or small the task, clearing away the things that are unused, broken or unnecessary will create space for new, healthy and positive energy to come into our lives.

Taming the Beast

2008-07-28T19:16:00.001-07:00

About 20 years ago I was involved in a freak accident at the restaurant I was working at. A walk-in door slammed shut on my face, and I ended up with a hairline fracture in my jaw (quick note, having your jaw wired shut for 6 weeks is NOT a recommended weight loss strategy!). As a result of that accident, I've suffered from TMJ problems throughout my adult life. The main problem I have is that most tension in my body gravitates right to my jaw. With time, the ill-effects have lessened, but there was a time that the tension caused severe headaches, teeth-grinding and interrupted sleep. Tension in the jaw can also radiate out into the neck and shoulders, which can create their own health issues.

Tension in the body is generally the result of stress, either physical, mental or emotional. Un-checked, stress can lead to a variety of disorders such as heart disease and depression. Before I discovered yoga I used a lot of unhealthy means to try to deal with tension and stress in my life: alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, food, sex, spending...you name it, I probably tried it. The problem was, these methods only masked the symptoms, and in many cases started to cause other problems. I started to become unreliable at work; I was spending too much money and was always scrounging around to pay my rent and bills; I was isolating myself from family and friends. All of my coping tools stopped working. I had created a hamster-wheel of bad choices and un-resolved situations. It wasn’t until I was ready to look at and address the reality of my life that I was able to clean up some of the mess that I had made, thereby starting the process of releasing some of the pressure that had built up. With work, I started to be able to make choices that didn’t bring more chaos into my life. Stressful situations still arose, but instead of trying to hide from them or mask them, I learned to deal with them. It was this journey that led me to yoga, where I found a very healthy way to start to work off tension and begin to detoxify physically, so that I could start to detoxify emotionally and spiritually.

A life free from tension and stress isn't necessarily the goal of our yoga practice. As wonderful as that sounds, it's not terribly realistic. Everyone has stress of one kind or another in their lives. Denying the truth of this will cause our stress and tension to re-direct into other areas of our lives, or build up like a pressure cooker, waiting to burst forth in unhealthy ways. So, in our asana practice we deliberately put our bodies into very stressful situations, and then observe where we feel tension and restriction. We use our breath, our awareness and our attention to release the tension, thereby relieving the stress. We practice this physically so that we begin to become aware of the process, then we can start to apply it to our lives off the mat. Through this practice of self-observation we develop self-awareness, and then begin to identify those situations that trigger stress and tension, and begin to make choices based on those triggers.

Corn Thoughts

2008-07-20T16:37:00.000-07:00

So, on Thursday evening I attended the Seane Corn vinyasa class at Cityoga. Sometimes an event or a person is hyped so much that the reality is a bit of a disappointment. I'm happy to report that this was not the case. It's clear why Seane is such a popular and in-demand instructor. Her passion for using her yoga practice as a means of service to mankind is infectious. The theme for this class was Living Like You Mean It, sort of a riff on my favorite Gandhi quote, "Be the change you want to see in the world." The entire practice was a spirit-charging call to arms to live life with authenticity and passion, and to let go of all of the stories and narratives that we tell ourselves which keep us from living our lives fully and free from darkness and suffering. Approach life from a standpoint of love and service, and make the embodiment of those principles our practice, starting with treating ourselves with compassion (a favorite theme of mine). Remembering always that we are human, and we'll fail, but that we can pick ourselves back up, dust ourselves off and try again. That, like our yoga, our life is practice, not perfection.

The asana portion of the class was very intense. She gives very clear instruction, and works every part of your body and spirit. She's also very funny and down-to-earth. She masterfully weaves the theme of her class into the physical practice, something that I am slowly learning to do. She highlighted some poses (like chaturanga dandasana) by workshopping them and being very precise about which muscle engagements we were working with. The class was packed (which reminded me so much of NY classes), and the energy in the room was amazing. I was sweating heavily by 15 minutes into the practice, partly because of the heat generated by the students, partly due to the long holds that she employs. While none of the poses were too crazy or advanced, the sequencing and holds made for a very challenging, demanding practice. Toxins were pouring out of me, and at one point Seane suggested that I turn my mat over so that I didn't slip. Fortunately I had my YogiToes mat in my bag, so I took an opportunity to go get it. I had wanted to do the entire class, but had to take a couple of breaks, once to use the bathroom during Dhanurasana, and once during a twisting series due to the results of some poor dietary choices (I'll spare everyone the gross details).

As I posted earlier, there is a reason why many of these instructors are so popular and in-demand. Not only are they master practitioners, but they also let their practice inform all areas of their lives. Their insights come from years of practice and study. They embody the meaning of the word "yoga" in the way that they unite their practice and their lives, creating a very authentic, organic approach to each, because at some point there ceases to be a separation. Life and practice become one.

I look forward to taking more of Seane's classes in the future, and also look forward to taking classes from other teachers coming through town. Stay tuned for info about other in-coming teachers!

Down-Dog Dayz

2008-07-17T12:36:00.000-07:00

The dog days of summer are upon us. Actually, according to our dogs, it's already too hot. On our walk this morning, our dog Zoey looked at me as if to say "You've GOT to be KIDDING!" So, I practiced some compassion for our fur-bearing friend and cut the walk short. When I next saw Zoey, she was in her favorite spot: under our bed with her back feet sticking out. She looks like the Wicked Witch in the Wizard of OZ.

With summer comes a downturn in class attendance. This happens pretty much across the board. People go on vacation, they want to spend more time outside, they want to go to the pool, etc. This happens every year, yet every year I have a moment of panic. Maybe I suck as a teacher? Maybe people only come to my class when there's nothing better to do? Maybe this whole yoga-teaching experiment was a HUGE mistake? Then a student comes up to me and tells me how much they enjoy my class. A studio contacts me about teaching a workshop in the fall. All of a sudden life is wonderful and maybe it's just summer after all.

Ego, ego, ego...blah, blah, blah.

When I was first starting to learn pranayama, I had a tough time with any practice where we had to retain the exhale. The first time I tried it, I made it 2 seconds before the panic set in...isn't the teacher ever going to let us inhale? I feel like I'm drowning, how long can this possibly go on why won't she tell us to breathe can't she see my face turning red and blue and then finally the instruction to inhale comes and I gasp in a big gulp of air and start panting much like Zoey this morning on our walk. We try it again, and again, and yet again and after a while I became more comfortable with the practice. I still couldn't retain the exhale for long, but I was able to control my inhale. I became aware of when I started to feel panic, and was able to either relax, or allow myself to take a slow, controlled inhale.

I sometimes get this same panic feeling when I take a class with an instructor who I'm not familiar with, or when I'm asked to hold a pose longer than I'm comfortable with or asked to do "just one more" repetition of a vinyasa sequence. Through the practice of pranayama and breath retention, though, I have become very aware of when I start to hold onto my breath as if it's my last, when I have a tendency to want to throw up my hands in frustration, or when I genuinely need to release. I've learned that surrender isn't failure, but rather putting my trust in something far greater than myself. Most importantly, I've learned that there are very few things that I can't do for just one more breath.

Hopefully next summer I'll remember that class attendance drops off, and recognize that it's not a comment on me personally. Hopefully I'll be able to meet this with grace and equanimity, and remember to breathe. Hopefully I'll be able to offer myself the same compassion that I offered to Zoey.

Have a great rest of the summer!

Continuing Ed

2008-07-15T04:57:00.000-07:00

I'm very excited...on Thursday I'm finally getting the opportunity to study with a teacher who I've wanted to study with for a while, Seane Corn. The last few times she's been in Indy, either I've been busy or out of town.

The yoga community here in the Heartland is still in it's growing stages, so there are many fewer opportunities to study with world-class vinyasa teachers like Seane right here in our own back yard. When the opportunities like this arise, it's important that we, as a community, support them so that Indy will start to become a desired destination for these high-caliber teachers. Last year, when Doug Swenson came to town to do a weekend teacher training, there were only a handful of instructors who took advantage of the opportunity. Doug has been practicing and teaching all over the world since the 1970's...he has a deep understanding and unique perspective on our practice. Sadly, because of the small turnout, it will be more difficult to convince him to return in the future.

The Anusara Yoga community seems to have built up a network to support their master teachers, helping promote their workshops and spreading the word about their teachings. Since all change starts at home, I'm going to commit to spreading the word in the local ashtanga/vinyasa community about visiting teachers who would be of interest, and make every effort to support their local teachings. We, as yoga practitioners, will benefit from the experience and knowledge of these remarkable teachers. As a community coming together for these teachings, sharing our practices and our individual insights, can only make us stronger and more connected.

Check back later for my thoughts on Seane's class!

My First Blog

2008-07-14T13:36:00.000-07:00

So this is my first attempt at blogging. We'll see how it goes. To start things off (and this may be cheating a bit), I thought I'd share with you an article that I posted on my monthly e-newsletter.

Last year I was teaching yoga to a group of teenagers. At first I was focusing on all the things that I would with a group of adults: breath awareness alignment, concentration, etc. We worked on some basic Sun Salutations, several standing poses, some easy heart-openers and forward folds. After a while, I sensed that the teens were losing interest in working on many of the same things, so one day I worked with them on Bakasana (Crow Pose). Some flew, some fell, but overall everyone really enjoyed the challenge; one thing about teenagers, they're FEARLESS! Next week, I decided to work on Adho Mukha Vrksasana (Handstand). Some of the kids practiced gymnastics, or were cheerleaders, so they were thrilled to be able to show off their abilities, and were also amazed that standing on their hands was doing yoga. The next week they rushed in, full of energy, doing cartwheels, handstands and a variety of other contortions, all the while asking "Is this yoga? Is THIS yoga? What about this?" After a few moments I got them to calm down enough to sit and focus. I explained that while many of the exercises that they were doing were indeed yoga poses,
the practice of yoga was more than just the crazy, twisty, bendy things that we do. I said it's sort of like when you're playing music, or dancing or even talking with your friends and everything becomes effortless and you lose track of time and you feel totally energized, like you're "in the zone." We practice working with our breath, our bodies and our concentration in a kind compassionate way so that we can maybe find "the zone" for ourselves.

The style of hatha yoga that I practice and teach, and that speaks to me the most, is vinyasa yoga. What appealed to me initially was the physical part of the practice. It was both challenging and fun, and, like the teenagers, I marvelled at some of the crazy things I could do. I was fortunate, though, to have teachers who framed their classes with personal anecdotes about how they were using their yoga practice (the other seven limbs)in their lives. At first I thought this was a massive waste of time. I mean, let's just get moving already! Slowly I started seeing some relevance between the stories and what we were doing in class. I started noticing when I was approaching the postures with aggression and when I was not being honest about my ability. I learned that sometimes I had to back away from certain poses in order to find more release. Then I started noticing how I had those same tendencies in my relationships with others and with myself. Like the proverbial onion, I started peeling away layers. I discovered how I was able to sometimes coordinate my breath, my body and my mind to achieve a state of meditation in the midst of the vinyasa flow.

Our yoga practice is like a chocolate chip cookie recipe (OK, if I think really hard, I can relate almost anything to chocolate chip cookies). If you eat just one part of it, say the chocolate chips, it may be tasty, but it's not a chocolate chip cookie. In order to make the cookies, you need the chocolate chips, the flour, the butter, the sugar, and even a pinch of salt. If you take the asana (postures) out of the yoga practice, you may get a good workout, but you're missing the elements that make it yoga. When we allow attention to our breath to guide our practice, when we concentrate and allow our mind to quiet, when we become intimately attuned to our senses and our bodies, and finally when we allow all of these ingredients to bake in the oven of devotion and compassion, then we have something delicious.